Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
This graph illustrate us about the rise and downfall of jobs in different fields since 1960 to 2020.
The x side (horizontal) of graph which represent the years and y side (vertical) shows the the opportunity of jobs in USA.Due to latest development the needs of person is also shifted, which is widely effecting these sectors that's why we can see rise in the healthcare and retail over the years.
Contarary the we can observe the less opportunities in manufacturing or agriculture but still manufacturing is far better than agriculture.As we can wittness the tall advanced buildings; we don't have even empty lands so we can do better in agriculture. 1980 is the only year in which all are rising except the agriculture.
We can conculde that the 2020 is the year for healthcare and retail as we can observe 16 milion jobs in these sector.From 2000 to 2020 agriculture is the almost same trend we can observe.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the task only partially, presenting a rudimentary overview of the graph but failing to properly select and report all key features. While the student mentions the rise in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture, the summary is hindered by limited data reporting and inappropriate personal speculation about tall buildings and empty lands. The position is not always clear, and the overall selection of data is underdeveloped. To move to a higher band, the response must avoid personal opinions and focus strictly on accurately reporting and comparing the provided data points without relying on external assumptions.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some basic organisation in the response, but it lacks clear overall progression. The essay opens with an introductory sentence, followed by body sentences, and concludes with a summary statement. However, paragraphing is not used effectively, as all sentences are lumped together into a single block of text. Cohesive devices are either inadequate, inaccurate, or mechanical, leading to disjointed transitions between ideas, such as 'Contarary the we can observe'. To improve, the student needs to structure the essay into distinct, logical paragraphs and employ a wider range of appropriate cohesive links to guide the reader smoothly through the comparison of trends.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, with noticeable errors that cause some difficulty for the reader. The student attempts less common vocabulary, such as 'downfall', 'opportunity', and 'wittness', but these are often marred by spelling mistakes and awkward collocations. Word choices such as 'The x side' instead of 'The horizontal axis' reflect a restricted lexical range. To achieve a higher score, the student must expand their vocabulary of trend-related terminology and ensure greater precision in word choice and spelling, avoiding conversational phrasing and employing standard academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammatical range is limited, relying mostly on simple or faulty complex structures. There are frequent errors that can cause difficulty for the reader, including problems with subject-verb agreement, such as 'This graph illustrate', and incorrect article usage like 'shows the the opportunity'. Prepositional errors and awkward syntactic patterns also occur throughout the text, as seen in 'widely effecting these sectors that's why we can see'. To progress to a higher band, the student needs to demonstrate a greater variety of error-free complex sentences, paying closer attention to basic grammatical rules, verb forms, and punctuation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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