Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in almost four sectors of the economy of US from 1960 to 2020.

The top increase in the manufacturing area about 20 millions in 1980 and lowest rate of agricultural field is about 2.5 millions in 2020.

Firstly, the manufacturing line is sharply increase in 1980 about 20 millions and then gradually decrease and the lowest rate is appropximately 13 millions. The retailing area is significantly increase at about 16 millions.

The increasing rate of agricultural field is same as retail sector, the agricultural area increase consistently and end at 16 million. But the healthcare department is different from other three, it gradualy decrease and the desending rate of this field is surely 3 millions in 1980 and then it maintain its value till 2000 and after that it continuous drop till 2020.

In short, the three manufacturing, retail and agricultural sectors are same but healthcare department is different from other three.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to address the task by mentioning some of the sectors and data points, but it achieves only a partial overview of the visual information. The student selects a few isolated features, such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 at around 20 million, but misinterprets several key trends and data values across the chart. For example, the description of agriculture and healthcare is confused, incorrectly stating that agriculture ends at 16 million and that healthcare decreases and drops to 3 million in 1980, which contradicts the graph. The overview provided at the end is inaccurate, as it incorrectly claims that healthcare is the only different sector while the other three are the same. Consequently, the information is largely inaccurate and fails to properly summarise the main features and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response shows some organisation through basic paragraphing and sequence markers like 'Firstly' and 'In short'. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, and the logic breaks down due to factual inaccuracies and confusing statements. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and often inaccurately, such as 'The top increase in the manufacturing area about 20 millions' and 'the increasing rate of agricultural field is same as retail sector'. Referencing is frequently unclear, leaving the reader confused about which data points and trends are being discussed. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas lacks logical coherence, making the overall structure difficult to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, with noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and collocation that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. The student attempts some less common vocabulary related to economic sectors and trends, such as 'manufacturing area', 'retailing area', and 'desending rate', but these are used inaccurately or ungrammatically. There are also persistent collocation issues, such as 'top increase' instead of 'peak' or 'highest point', and 'lowest rate' instead of 'lowest number'. Spelling and word-formation errors, such as 'appropximately' and 'gradualy', further restrict the range of vocabulary and its precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple clauses and basic subject-verb-object patterns. Attempts at more complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to frequent grammatical errors. There are numerous issues with verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and missing or incorrect prepositions, such as 'the manufacturing line is sharply increase' and 'it maintain its value till 2000 and after that it continuous drop'. Articles and pluralisation are also inconsistently handled, as seen in 'economy of US' and 'about 20 millions'. These frequent errors create noticeable strain and can cause difficulty for the reader in interpreting the intended meaning.

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