Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph illustrates the information about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the graph shows the jobs in four sectors which is: manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in US economy between [redacted phone]. Whereas, In 1960 healthcare jobs started at 2 million and the retail jobs started at 6 million and they both were ended at 16 million in 2020.

Initially, the manufacturing jobs in 1960 on the peak of jobs sector. It started at 15 million and the grown up with 20 million but slowly it is seemed to be fall down. Then, In 2020, it ended at 13 million. Subsequently, the agriculture started at 6 million but with the growing years it is also looked to be down and in 2020 it seemed at just 3.5 million.

In comparison, the given graph shows that in growing years demands of jobs sectors for retail and healthcare are grown but manufacturing and agriculture are started with highest account but after few years it seemed to be less demanded.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response successfully covers the main trends in the four economic sectors, noting that healthcare and retail rose significantly while manufacturing and agriculture declined. However, the development is somewhat mechanical and limited. For instance, the overview tries to cram too many specific figures into a summary section instead of broad trends, and some data points are slightly inaccurate, such as stating that agriculture ended at '3.5 million' when the visual shows it closer to 2 million. Additionally, nine words were copied directly from the prompt, which highlights a reliance on rubric language. To improve, you should ensure your overview presents a clear, high-level summary of the major trends without getting bogged down in individual numbers, and verify that your data points align closely with the provided graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a basic structure, dividing the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, which gives it an overall framework. However, the progression of ideas lacks fluidity and logical connection. Transitions between sentences are often abrupt or awkward, as seen with phrases like 'Whereas, In 1960' and 'Subsequently, the agriculture started'. Furthermore, cohesive devices are sometimes misused or applied mechanically, which disrupts the flow of information. The division of paragraphs could also be optimized; for example, grouping the rising sectors together and the falling sectors together would create a clearer logical progression. To achieve a higher band, focus on using cohesive devices naturally and ensure that your sentences flow smoothly from one point to the next with clear referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate to convey the basic message about economic sectors and job numbers, but the range is limited and repetitive. Words such as 'jobs', 'sector', 'graph', and 'started' are used repeatedly throughout the text without much variation. There are also noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations, such as 'the grown up with 20 million' and 'it is seemed to be fall down', where word forms and verbs are incorrectly combined. Furthermore, expressions like 'highest account' lack precision. To lift your lexical score, you need to expand your range of vocabulary by incorporating less common synonyms, precise reporting verbs, and accurate collocations to describe upward and downward trends without relying on basic phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text displays a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic active constructions. When you attempt more complex structures, they frequently contain errors, such as in the opening sentence: 'The given graph illustrates the information about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US', which lacks necessary articles. Other grammatical inaccuracies include tense and verb form errors, such as 'it is seemed to be fall down' and 'demands of jobs sectors for retail and healthcare are grown'. Punctuation and preposition use also need closer attention. To reach the next level, you should aim to produce a wider variety of error-free complex sentences, paying careful attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct placement of articles.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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