Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
the graph illustrates the number of jobs in all four sectors of the economy in US (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) between [redacted phone].
Overall, healthcare and retailer experienced substancial growth whereas agrilculture declined and manufacturing rose before falling. y 2020 healthcare had become the at the largest sector along side retail.
Manufacturing begain at 15 million jobs in 1960peaked at 20million in 1980 and then fell steadily to 13 million in 2020. agriculture by contrast started at 6 million and dropped to 3 million by 1980, remaining stable until 2000 before slipping to just 2 million.
Retail jobs grew consistently from 6 million to 16 million over the period. Healthcare showed the most dramatic increase, rising from only 2 million in 1960 to 11 million in 2000, and reaching 16 million in 2020, level with retail and overtaking manufacturing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features, trends, and comparisons across all four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. An effective overview is provided, noting that healthcare and retail experienced substantial growth while agriculture declined and manufacturing fluctuated. Key data points, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare and retail reaching 16 million by 2020, are accurately cited and compared. However, please note that the response is slightly under the word count requirement, falling short of the 150-word minimum by 11 words. While the content is well-selected and accurate, expanding slightly on the comparative trends would help fully meet higher-level expectations.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The response demonstrates a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. The information is logically sequenced, beginning with a brief introductory statement and an overall summary before dividing the body paragraphs into specific sector trends. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from the detailed analysis. Cohesive devices are employed with reasonable flexibility, such as using 'by contrast' and chronological sequencing ('began at... and then fell...'). However, some transitional links between sentences are occasionally mechanical or slightly disjointed, which prevents the essay from achieving a higher band. Overall, the arrangement is coherent and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'substancial', 'dramatic increase', and 'stable'. However, there are notable spelling and word-choice errors that prevent a higher score. For example, 'substancial' contains a spelling error, 'retailer' is misused instead of 'retail', 'agrilculture' has a typo, and 'begain' is a spelling mistake for 'began'. These errors do not impede communication, as the reader can easily understand the intended meaning, but the presence of multiple spelling inaccuracies limits the lexical grade.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is used in the response, demonstrating an attempt at varied grammatical structures. For instance, the writer successfully employs compound-complex sentences with temporal clauses, such as 'Healthcare showed the most dramatic increase, rising from only 2 million in 1960 to 11 million in 2000, and reaching 16 million in 2020'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing capitalisation ('in US'), missing articles ('become the at the largest sector'), and a missing punctuation mark in 'y 2020'. Nevertheless, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication, allowing the response to sit comfortably at this level.
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