Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

First of all, we will talk about the healthcare sector.The jobs in healthcare sector has significantly grows over time and only have a positive climb on the graph and never goes down a single year from 1960 to 2020 and it produces currently almost 16 million jobs.It shows that this sector has produces various jobs ober time.Now let's talk about the agricultural sector. In this sector, the jobs has been on a declining trend as we can see in graph. Overtime the number of jobs is decreasing as the time passes by.This is maybe due to lack of interest in farming.On the other end, in retail sector, the graph is on a positive trent as it produces more jobs overtime and currently hits the figure of almost 16 million jobs same as the healthcare sector. In Last, manufacturing sector is different from all above as it goes high from 1960 to 1980 with the highest record of jobs offering of 20 millions but then it gets declining from 1980 till 2020 and now it almost lost about 7 millions jobs almost overtime and currently have 13 millions jobs almost total in this sector. Currently Healthcare and retail sectors are out performing others with highest jobs offering number but yet the manufacturing sector has a lot of potential to grow much bigger than others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You manage to present some main features of the chart, such as the overall upward trajectory of healthcare and retail, the decline in agriculture, and the peak of the manufacturing sector in 1980. However, your response sits at this level because your approach is somewhat conversational and repetitive, rather than strictly analytical. For example, instead of focusing purely on data trends, you include personal speculation such as 'This is maybe due to lack of interest in farming' and an unsupported concluding opinion that 'manufacturing sector has a lot of potential to grow much bigger than others,' which falls outside objective reporting. While you cover all four sectors, some comparisons lack precision, meaning the task is addressed only partially.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic level of organisation, as you attempt to divide your points into different sectors. However, the text suffers from a lack of clear overall progression and poor paragraphing. You rely heavily on informal, conversational transitions like 'First of all, we will talk about...' and 'Now let's talk about...', which give the writing the feel of a spoken commentary rather than a cohesive academic report. Cohesive devices are used rather repetitively and mechanically, with phrases like 'over time' and 'currently' appearing frequently without creating smooth logical links between ideas. Proper paragraphing is absent, as the entire response is presented as a single dense block of text, which significantly hinders readability and the flow of information.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is minimally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey basic trends using terms like 'declining trend,' 'growing,' and 'sectors.' However, your range is limited and repetition is a frequent issue, with words such as 'jobs,' 'sector,' and 'currently' used excessively throughout the text. There are also notable word choice and word formation errors, such as 'significantly grows' instead of 'grew significantly,' 'positive trent' instead of 'trend,' and 'out performing.' Additionally, phrasing like 'highest record of jobs offering' sounds unnatural. These lexical slips and limited variety mean that communication is sometimes strained by awkward phrasing rather than precise academic terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You show a very limited range of sentence structures, relying primarily on simple sentences and basic coordination. When you attempt more complex structures, they are frequently faulty, leading to awkward and ungrammatical clauses such as 'The jobs in healthcare sector has significantly grows over time and only have a positive climb...' and 'manufacturing sector is different from all above as it goes high from 1960 to 1980 with the highest record of jobs offering...' There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the jobs has been'), tense consistency, and missing articles (e.g., 'in retail sector'). These frequent grammatical errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and reflect a weak control over sentence patterns.

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