Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph below illustrate data about thenumber of employment sector of the economy in the us between the year 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the retail and healthcare industries experienced an upwards trend in jobs, whereas,the manufacturing field rose at the highest peak and slowly rose down .

firstly, in the 1960 the manufacturing industry provided 15 millions jobs in the us which rose to 20 the highest among all then slowly faded to about 13 million jobs in the year 2020. Whereas, the retail and healthcare industry stared the 60s with about 6 and 3 million jobs respectively to meet at about 16 million employees in 2020.Lastly the agricultural sector started

its occupancy as similar to the retail industry about 6 million in its field to slowly started to loose its grip in the main four sector of job providers to reach about 3 million people coming into the year

2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the task only partially, as the overview is somewhat confused and certain data points contain inaccuracies. For example, the student states that manufacturing 'rose at the highest peak and slowly rose down' and later claims that agriculture started at about 6 million before falling to 3 million, when the graph shows it starting at 6 million in 1960 and dropping to 2 million by 2020. An overview is attempted, noting the upward trends for retail and healthcare and the general trajectory of manufacturing, but the lack of precision and under-developed reporting prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure that key trends are stated accurately against the visual data and that the overall summary clearly highlights the main overarching patterns without mechanical lifting of random figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation evident with a clear attempt to structure the essay into an introduction, an overview, and body details, but there is no clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, yet the body paragraph is overly dense and combines multiple separate trends without sufficient spacing. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as starting sentences with 'firstly,' and 'Lastly' in a mechanical fashion, and the transition 'Whereas,' is misused. Referencing and referencing ties are sometimes unclear, which disrupts the flow for the reader. To reach a higher band, you need to logically sequence information across distinct paragraphs, use cohesive ties more naturally, and ensure smooth progression from the overview into detailed data points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic information about the graph. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'thenumber' (spacing error), 'employment sector of the economy', 'rose down', 'stared' (instead of started), and 'occupancy' or 'loose its grip' (unnatural collocations). Spelling mistakes also occur, such as 'loose' instead of 'lose'. While the student attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'occupancy' or 'industries', the inaccuracies in word choice and spelling cause occasional strain for the reader. To improve, focus on precise descriptions of trends using standard collocations, such as 'downward trend' or 'decline', and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing shows a limited range of sentence structures, with most complex sentence attempts containing significant errors. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including missing articles ('in the 1960' instead of 'in 1960'), incorrect prepositions ('in the us between the year 1960 to 2020'), and punctuation issues such as stray commas ('whereas,the'). Subject-verb agreement and clause structures are frequently faulty, for instance in the sentence starting with 'Whereas, the retail and healthcare industry stared...'. These frequent errors cause some difficulty and hesitation for the reader. To achieve a higher score, you must demonstrate better control over complex sentence forms, ensure accurate verb tenses, and fix basic punctuation and prepositional patterns.

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