Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) in the US from [redacted phone]. Units are measured in millions.

Overall, while manufacturing starts as the dominant job, its numbers eroded steadily, allowing retail and healthcare to become the primary choice by the end of the year 2020 whereas agriculture to have the lowest employment.

In 1960, employement in manufacturing was 15 million in the US, which spiked upto 20 million in year 1980, followed by a consistent downward trend over the following years. It employment dropped to almost 13 million in 2020. Agriculture also had a downfall from 6 million to almost 3 million in year 2020.

On the contray, the employment number of retail and healthcare in year 1960 was nearly 6 million, almost half of manufacturing. It then spiked in 1980 to 5 million and 10 million, followed by a increase with almost 15.5 million in year 2020 which was the highest number among four sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by providing an overview and reporting the main trends and features of the four sectors across the period. For instance, you correctly identify that manufacturing started as the dominant sector before declining, while retail and healthcare grew significantly. However, some ideas are under-developed or imprecise; for example, your description of the retail and healthcare figures in 1980 ('spiked in 1980 to 5 million and 10 million') is slightly confusing regarding which figure belongs to which sector, and the final data point for retail and healthcare is generalized as 'with almost 15.5 million' rather than distinguishing between them at 16 million. To reach a higher band, you should ensure all key data points are stated with absolute clarity and precision.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs dedicated to the data details. You make use of cohesive devices to guide the reader, such as 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'On the contray'. However, progression is sometimes slightly disrupted by mechanical referencing and minor organizational awkwardness, such as grouping retail and healthcare together in a way that creates confusion about individual data points in 1980. Paragraphing is present and generally appropriate, but to achieve a higher band, logical sequencing and referencing must be handled with greater precision so that transitions between ideas are smoother and entirely transparent.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'dominant job', 'eroded steadily', and 'downward trend'. However, there are notable word choice, word form, and spelling errors that prevent a higher score. For instance, you write 'employement' instead of 'employment', 'contry' instead of 'contrary', and use the phrase 'start as the dominant job' rather than 'sector'. Additionally, expressions like 'its numbers eroded steadily' could be more natural. These vocabulary and spelling inaccuracies do not seriously impede communication, but they highlight the need for greater precision in word selection and proofreading.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as 'while manufacturing starts as the dominant job, its numbers eroded steadily' and relative clauses like 'which was the highest number among four sectors.' There are some grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense consistency issues ('starts' versus 'eroded', 'it employment dropped' instead of 'its employment'), missing articles, and preposition use. For instance, writing 'whereas agriculture to have the lowest employment' contains a faulty infinitive structure. These errors persist, but they rarely impede communication, placing your control of grammar at this level.

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