Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph provides information about the jobs in distinct economy segments of US from year 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the healthcare jobs increased significantly throughout the period, followed by retail jobs. Unlike these two, manufacturing jobs after a small surge decreased than before it actually was. And the healthcare jobs is just reducing throughout the duration.

For healthcare and retail jobs between 1960 to 2020, there's a huge increment in both of them, as healthcare has an drastic increment from below 5 million to almost 16 million jobs. While retail jobs also ending at almost same figure as healthcare 16 million jobs almost but it started increasing from just above 5 million.

Trend isn't same for manufacturing and agriculture jobs, as there's job reduction in these economy sectors. Manufacturing jobs surged until 1980 from 15 million to 20 million, then there's significant decline from 20 million to almost 13 million. But agricultural sector faced a radical reduction in jobs throught duration from above 5 million in 1980 to less than 5 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the task by reporting on the four sectors over the given period, but the coverage is only partial and contains notable inaccuracies and confusion. While an overview is attempted, it is factually flawed, incorrectly stating that healthcare jobs decreased throughout the duration when the graph clearly shows a substantial upward trend, and confusing manufacturing with agriculture. Furthermore, some key features and comparisons are under-developed or misreported, such as the agricultural data where the text claims employment fell to less than 5 million in 2020 starting from 1980, missing the broader picture. To reach a higher level, the response needs to present a clear, accurate overview of the main trends without factual contradictions, and support all reported data points with correct interpretations from the visual prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a logical paragraph structure, dividing the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs adequately. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices to link ideas together, such as 'Unlike these two', 'While retail jobs', and 'Trend isn't same for'. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, and referencing can be unclear, such as the abrupt transitions between sectors in the overview paragraph. Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression within paragraphs occasionally falters due to confusing contrasts. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to ensure that cohesive devices are used more naturally and that information flows smoothly from one sentence to the next without abrupt shifts in focus.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The response uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items related to trends and data reporting, such as 'significant', 'surge', 'increment', and 'decline'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and collocation that occasionally impede precision, such as using 'increment' instead of 'increase', 'economy segments' instead of 'economic sectors', and mixing up directional terms like 'reducing' when describing an upward trend. Spelling is generally acceptable, but lexical control is inconsistent. To improve, the writer should focus on using precise vocabulary that matches statistical data accurately and refine collocations associated with graphs, such as 'upward trend' or 'substantial growth'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer displays a limited range of structures, attempting a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause difficulty for the reader, particularly regarding prepositions, articles, and verb tenses. Examples include 'jobs in distinct economy segments of US', 'the healthcare jobs is just reducing', and 'Trend isn't same for manufacturing and agriculture jobs'. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to awkward phrasing. To move up to a higher band, the writer needs to increase the proportion of error-free sentences, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage, and ensure that complex sentence structures are grammatically accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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