Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates chsnges in employment numbers (million) across four key economic areas in the United States from 1960 to 2020. Overall, manufacturing and agriculture experienced a lomg-term decline in jobs, while healthecare and retail sectors demonstrated consistent growth over the decade.

In 1960, manufacturing was the largest sectors among the four sectors, with around 15 milliom jobs. It peaked at almost 20 million in 1980, after that it decreased steadily roughly 13 millon by 2020. In contrast, agriculture began with 6 million jobs in 1960 and fell sharply to just under 2 million by 2020 - a slight reduction over the two decades.

Healthcare started with the lowest jobs around 2 million 5n 1960 however showed a substantial growth in three decades, increasing approximately 16 million by 2020 - exceeding manufacturing the largest sectors by the end of the perion. Retail employment started 6 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2000. although it's trajectory was not linear: it rise steadily untill 2000 then levelled off and dipped marginally to 15.5 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response presents an overview with main trends and selects data to support the description, satisfying some core requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is uneven. For instance, the discussion of agriculture contains a slight inaccuracy, describing the trend as 'a slight reduction over the two decades' when the data spans sixty years and shows a drop from six to two million jobs. Furthermore, there are minor data inaccuracies, such as stating that retail employment reached 15.5 million by 2020 when the chart shows it finishing around 16 million. While the general trends for manufacturing, retail, and healthcare are captured, the incomplete and slightly flawed reporting of details means the task is only partially addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged coherently with a clear overall progression from an introduction to body paragraphs divided by economic sectors. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different categories of information. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, transitional phrases like 'after that it decreased steadily' create run-on structures or comma splices rather than smooth transitions. Referencing and cohesive devices are occasionally awkward, such as 'however showed a substantial growth', which lacks necessary subjects or proper conjunction links. Overall progression is maintained, but the management of cohesive devices requires tighter control to achieve a higher band.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with attempts to use less common items and precise reporting language such as 'substantial growth', 'levelled off', and 'peaked'. However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'chsnges' for changes, 'lomg-term' for long-term, 'healthecare' for healthcare, 'milliom' for million, and 'millon' for million. Additionally, some phrasing is awkward or imprecise, such as 'exceeding manufacturing the largest sectors by the end of the perion'. These lexical and spelling errors are noticeable and detract from the overall quality, though they do not completely impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms to report the data. However, there are frequent grammatical errors in sentence construction, punctuation, and prepositions. Examples include comma splices ('in 1980, after that it decreased steadily'), missing prepositions ('started 6 million in 1960'), and tense/structure inconsistencies ('Healthcare started with the lowest jobs around 2 million 5n 1960 however showed...'). Punctuation errors and missing conjunctions are common, such as 'Healthcare started with the lowest jobs around 2 million 5n 1960 however showed a substantial growth in three decades, increasing approximately 16 million'. These errors persist throughout the text and cause some difficulty for the reader.

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