Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph below display the information about the amount of jobs in manufacturing, retails, agriculture and healthcare sectors of the economy in the america between 1960 and 2020
Overall, number of jobs in healthcare and retails increase over the period while manufacturing and agriculture decrease
From 1960 to 2020, jobs in healthcare rose dramatically from around 2 millions to nearly to 15 millions. Retail sector begin with nearly 2 millions at 1960 and significatly increase to closely 15 million in 2000 and then increase slightly till 2020
Manufacturing started with 15 million at 1960 and grow till 20 million in 1980 and then dramatically fall near 10 millions at 2020. Finally, jobs in agriculture sector gradually decline from around 5 million in 1960 to 3 millions in year 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by selecting key sectors and reporting overall trends, but it falls short of the 150-word minimum length requirement, stopping at 129 words. While an overview is included, the development of ideas is limited. For instance, the discussion of the retail sector contains minor inaccuracies regarding starting points and trajectory when compared to the visual data. The selection of data points is present, but comparisons between the sectors are sparse and under-developed. To reach a higher band, the response would need to meet the minimum word count, provide more comprehensive detail, and ensure complete accuracy in reporting the data points across all four economic sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay demonstrates a clear overall arrangement with a distinct introductory sentence and a separate overview paragraph. Cohesive devices are used to signal progression, such as 'Overall,' and 'Finally,'. However, referencing and cohesion can feel somewhat mechanical, and logical progression within the body paragraphs occasionally stumbles due to abrupt transitions between years and sectors. Paragraphing is present and helps structure the response, but further refinement in using cohesive links smoothly would enhance the flow. Overall, the organizational structure is functional and demonstrates the foundations of coherent writing.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with appropriate topic-related terms like 'manufacturing', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. However, there are noticeable word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'amount of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs', and spelling or form slips like 'retails' and 'significatly'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and attempts at less common lexical items are sometimes inaccurate. To improve, the student should focus on precise word choices, correct pluralisation of sectors, and accurate spelling of descriptive adverbs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response relies on a limited range of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly missing articles ('the graph below display', 'in america'), incorrect prepositions, and verb tense inconsistencies or omissions (e.g., 'Retail sector begin', 'jobs in healthcare rose dramatically from around 2 millions'). Punctuation is also weak, with missing full stops at the end of sentences. While these errors rarely completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a limited command of grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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