Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph demonstrates the number of jobs, measured in millions in four sectors od the us economy-manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare-from 1960 to 2020.|

overall, manufacturing was the largest source of employment at the beginning of the period but it is figure declined after 1980. In contrast, retail and healthcare becoming one of the largest employers by 2020.Agriculture followed a downward trend throughout the period.

in 1960, manufacturing accounted for 15 million jobs,considerably more than retail and agriculture both of which stood at around 6 millon. healthcare had the fewest jobs, approximately 2 millon.manufacturing then rose to a peak of 20 millon in 1980, before falling to about 17 million in 2000 and 12.5 millon in 2020.

retail employment increased steadily reaching 10 million in 1980 and approximately 14.5 million in 2000 before rising slightly to 15.5 million in 2020.healthcare saw the most dramatic growth, climbing from just 2 million jobs in 1960 to around 4.5 million in 1980, 100.5 million in 2000 , and 15.5 million by 2020

By contrast,agriculture declined sharply from 6 million jobs in 1960 to only about 1 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting an overview and reporting the main trends and data for all four sectors. Key features are selected and compared, such as manufacturing starting as the largest sector and healthcare's dramatic growth. However, some aspects are under-developed or contain minor inaccuracies in the reported data, such as the peak for manufacturing being correctly identified at 20 million in 1980, but minor data points like retail's 2000 figure being slightly misreported. The overview successfully highlights the main shifts over the period, meeting the requirements of this band well by providing relevant information even if some details lack complete precision.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response maintains a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical progression, moving from an introductory statement and general overview into detailed body paragraphs for individual sectors. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesion within and between sentences is generally present, although some cohesive devices and referencing feel slightly mechanical or are impacted by punctuation and spacing oversights (such as run-on phrases like 'overall, manufacturing' and missing spaces after commas). It reaches beyond the lower level by clearly grouping related trends, yet falls short of a higher band due to minor mechanical cohesion issues and occasional lapses in smooth transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common terms such as 'downward trend', 'peak', and 'dramatic growth'. There are some word choice and spelling inaccuracies, such as 'millon' instead of million, 'od' instead of of, and the awkward phrasing 'retail and healthcare becoming one of the largest employers'. However, these errors do not impede communication and the meaning remains clear throughout. To achieve a higher band, the vocabulary range would need to be wider and executed with greater precision and fewer mechanical slips in spelling and word form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over structure. However, there are frequent errors in punctuation, spacing, and sentence boundaries, such as missing spaces after full stops and commas, run-on sentences like 'industries-manufacturing,retail', and incorrect verb forms in phrases like 'retail and healthcare becoming one'. While simple sentences are generally understandable, attempts at more complex structures introduce errors that persist throughout the text, placing this response firmly at this specific level of grammatical control.

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