Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

A glance at the graph illustrates the number of employment in given four sectors of the economy in the Us between 1960 and 2020

overall Manufacturing depicts at highest in certain years in compare to other three where as agriculture shows at lowest.

looking first at the Jobs with higher figures A occupation stood at first with 15 million jobs is followed by Manufacturing sector in 1960 where retail and agriculture is with 5.5 million jobs while healthcare depicts at the 3 percent lowest with around 2 million positions.

Turning to the reaming years still Manufacturing roles edge up sharply with 5 points and stood at the top in the year 1980 with 20 million positions mean while if we compare retail and agriculture shows different scenarios where retail jobs got an insane incline till the year 2020 with 16 million job roles on other hand agriculture got major drop till year 2020 but if we observe healthcare showing continous significant growth between year 1960 and 2020 and reached at the same postion with retail jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the task only partially, presenting some key data but failing to provide a fully accurate or clear overview. While the writer attempts to summarize the main trends in the four economic sectors, there are significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the text claims that 'agriculture shows at lowest' in 1960 and that manufacturing started at 15 million, but confuses several initial values and trends. The overview is weak, merely stating general highs and lows without capturing the overarching trajectories. Furthermore, ideas are limited and under-developed, with confusing statements such as 'healthcare depicts at the 3 percent lowest'. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to select the most salient features more accurately, avoid data misinterpretations, and provide a clearer, more comprehensive overview of the graph's main trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response shows some organization, but there is no clear overall progression, leading to a confusing read. The text is poorly paragraphed, essentially dividing the content into a short opening and one massive, sprawling block of text that lacks adequate logical grouping. Cohesive devices are either inadequate, inaccurate, or overused, with awkward transitions like 'looking first at the Jobs with higher figures A occupation stood at first' and 'Turning to the reaming years'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which data points correspond to which years and sectors. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the writer should structure the response into distinct paragraphs, use appropriate and varied cohesive devices naturally, and sequence ideas logically to ensure a smooth progression of information throughout the task.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response displays a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary for the task. The writer attempts some topic-specific terms related to data trends, such as 'depicts', 'edge up sharply', and 'major drop', but noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation occur throughout. Examples include 'number of employment' instead of 'number of jobs', 'in compare to' instead of 'in comparison with', and 'insane incline' which is inappropriately informal for an Academic task. Additionally, spelling and formatting slips are present, such as 'reaming' instead of 'remaining', 'continous', and lowercasing 'us'. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, use less common lexical items with greater precision and stylistic appropriateness, and eliminate basic word choice and collocation errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on attempts at complex sentences that are frequently faulty. Frequent grammatical errors occur, including issues with subject-verb agreement, missing articles, incorrect prepositions, and poor punctuation. Examples include 'where as agriculture shows at lowest', 'retail and agriculture is with 5.5 million jobs', and 'healthcare showing continous significant growth'. The lack of full stops and capital letters at sentence boundaries further disrupts readability. These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader. To progress, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of grammatical structures, improve control over tense consistency and clause structures, and reduce basic grammatical inaccuracies to ensure clearer communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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