Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph provides data about the number of jobs in four fields of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing industry provided highest number of jobs throughout the period. Employment in Retail and Healthcare sector constantly increased and over passed Manufacturing in the last decade. While Agriculture remains the least interested field.

In 1960, 15 million individuals were associated with Manufacturing industry. Figures climbed to 20 million in 1980, before dropping around 17 million in 2000 and closed at almost 13 million in 2020.

Retail and Healthcare sector constantly increased within the period. Retail sector begin from 6 million in 1960 to climb up to 15 million in 2000 and remained at highest figures of 16 million in the final year. Likewise, Healthcare started from the lowest number of 3 million in 1960 to dramatically rose to 11 million in 2000 and remained at peak of 16 million in 2020.

In contrast, Agriculture was the least appealing employment sector. Started from 6 million in 1960, to dipping down to almost 3 million in 1980 and 2000 before reaching the lowest number of 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by presenting an overview and reporting the main trends and comparisons for the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The overview correctly identifies that manufacturing generally maintained high numbers while retail and healthcare grew significantly, and agriculture remained the lowest. Key features such as the peak of manufacturing in 1980 and the dramatic rise of healthcare are accurately reported and supported with data. However, the response sits at a half-band level because some parts of the analysis are slightly under-developed or contain minor inaccuracies; for instance, stating that manufacturing 'provided highest number of jobs throughout the period' overlooks the fact that healthcare and retail matched or exceeded it by 2020. To reach the next level, the student should ensure that all comparative statements precisely reflect the final data points of the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement and presents a logical progression of information, moving from an introductory overview into distinct body paragraphs dedicated to manufacturing, retail and healthcare, and agriculture. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different categories of data. Cohesive devices are employed to link ideas, such as 'In contrast' and 'Likewise', which helps guide the reader through the comparisons. Nevertheless, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or slightly faulty, as seen in minor awkwardness with referencing and transitional phrasing like 'Retail sector begin from 6 million in 1960 to climb up'. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to employ a wider variety of cohesive ties more flexibly and ensure that inter-sentence transitions flow more naturally without relying on repetitive structures.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying numerical data and general trends using terms such as 'associated with', 'dropped', 'climbing up', and 'peak'. The writer makes some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'appealing', 'associated with', and 'dramatically rose'. However, there are noticeable word choice, collocation, and word form errors that prevent the score from being higher. Examples include 'fields of economy' instead of 'sectors of the economy', 'over passed' instead of 'surpassed', 'least interested field' instead of 'least popular sector', and 'begin' instead of 'began'. Spelling and word choice errors do not impede communication, but to move up, the student must demonstrate greater precision in collocations and grammatical forms of words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and time-phrase introductions effectively. There is evidence of good control over past tense narrative structures for historical data. However, there are several grammatical errors present, particularly with articles, verb forms, and prepositions, such as writing 'Manufacturing industry' without an article, 'Retail and Healthcare sector constantly increased' using a singular noun with a plural verb context, and 'dropping around 17 million' missing a preposition like 'to'. Punctuation and sentence boundaries also occasionally slip, as seen in the fragment starting with 'Started from 6 million'. These errors rarely impede communication, placing the response solidly in this band. To reach the next level, the writer should aim for a higher proportion of error-free complex sentences and refine control over articles and prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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