Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The linear graph delineates information regarding various jobs opporutinities in four distictive sectors of the econmoy in the nation United States from 1960 till 2020.
Considering from an overall perspective it can be comprehensively observed that, the highest amount of jobs noticed in manufacturing whilst the lowet recorded in agriculture throughout the year.Intresetingly, Retail and Healthcare were same in 2020.
To commence with, 15 millions jobs observed in manufacturing sector in the year 1960 which was escalated in 1980 and accounted for 20.In 2000, it was at nearly 17 millions jobs and approximately 13 millions jobs were noticed in 2020. Retail jobs were consistantly inclined in 1960,1980,2000,2020 and witnessed at 6,10,15 and 16, respectively.
Furthermore, Agriculture jobs were recorded same as compared to Retail in 1960. Almost 4 millions jobs were registered in 1980 and 2000 which were declined and observed at 2 millions jobs in 2020.Evaluating Healthcare sector, in 1960 healthcare jobs accounted for 2 millions jobs which were grew in 1980 and stood at 5. 11 millions jobs were observed in 2000 and 16 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting on the four economic sectors across the given timeframe. Key features are selected, such as manufacturing starting high and healthcare growing significantly to match retail by the end of the period. An overview is present, highlighting the highest and lowest points. However, some ideas and comparisons are under-developed or lack precise detailing. For example, the statement that retail and healthcare were the same in 2020 is accurate based on the visual data, but other trends could have been integrated more cohesively. The reporting of data is generally accurate, though minor approximations in figures exist.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at logical organisation, dividing the information into an introduction, an overview, and distinct body paragraphs for the various sectors. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and referencing is not always clear, leading to a slightly disjointed reading experience. Transitional phrases like 'To commence with' and 'Furthermore' are used to structure the text, but paragraphing could be managed more effectively to group related trends, such as contrasting the declining sectors with the growing ones.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The writer uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'delineates', 'escalated', and 'consistantly'. However, there are noticeable spelling errors ('opporutinities', 'distictive', 'econmoy', 'Intresetingly', 'consistantly') and some inaccuracies in word choice or word form, such as 'linear graph' instead of 'line graph', and 'were grew' which blends vocabulary with structural awkwardness. While these errors do not severely impede communication, they restrict the lexical score due to a lack of precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to use relative clauses and comparative structures. There are several errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles ('in manufacturing sector', 'in nation United States'), awkward passive constructions ('highest amount of jobs noticed'), and subject-verb agreement or tense errors ('were grew'). While these errors occur regularly throughout the text, they rarely impede overall communication, allowing the reader to follow the intended data points.
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