Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the number of people employed in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare sectors increased and reached its highest level, manufacturing decreased while agriculture declined overall.
Manufacturing started at 15 in 1960. Over the following years, the figure increased and reached 20 in 1990. After this, it continued to fall and ended at 13 in 2020. Agriculture showed the same decreasing pattern. It started at 6 in 1960. Over the following years, it continued to decrease and reached at 3 in 2020.
Retail started at 6 and it retail continued to increase over the years and reached the higest at 15 in 2020 while health care at the beginning was at 3, it gradually increased till 1980 and then it dramatically reached at peak at 15 in 2020. Meanwhile, Retail and agriculture started from the same number but followed exactly different pattern that retail sector reached at highest and aggriculture declined overall.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response successfully covers all four economic sectors and attempts to provide an overview, addressing the main trends across the period from 1960 to 2020. However, some ideas are under-developed or contain inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the overview incorrectly states that retail and healthcare 'reached its highest level' without specifying numbers, and the text mentions manufacturing reaching 20 in 1990, whereas the graph shows this peak in 1980. The comparisons between sectors are somewhat repetitive and lack deeper analysis of the overall proportions. Nevertheless, all parts of the prompt are addressed to a sufficient degree to meet the requirements of this band level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a coherent overall arrangement and attempts to separate information into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific trends. However, cohesion is frequently faulty or mechanical. There are issues with referencing and transition phrases, such as abrupt shifts between sentences and awkward connective phrasing like 'After this, it continued to fall' and 'Meanwhile, Retail and agriculture started from the same number but followed exactly different pattern'. Paragraphing is also somewhat disorganized, as the final paragraph bundles multiple distinct comparisons together in a confusing manner, reducing the overall clarity of progression.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic economic trends with terms like 'employed', 'increased', 'decreased', and 'decline'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'pattern' and 'dramatically', but these attempts are occasionally marred by inaccuracy, awkward word choices, or spelling and phrasing errors, such as 'higest', 'health care', and 'aggriculture'. Word formation and collocation issues also appear, such as 'reached at peak' instead of 'reached a peak'. These lexical errors do not seriously impede communication, but they restrict the response from achieving a higher rating.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like subordinate clauses introduced by 'while' and 'as'. However, there are notable grammatical errors throughout the text, including missing articles ('reached at peak'), preposition errors ('reached at 3'), pronoun-antecedent agreement issues ('retail and healthcare sectors... reached its highest level'), and clunky phrasing. While these errors do not impede overall comprehension, they occur frequently enough to prevent the writing from displaying the consistent control characteristic of higher band levels.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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