Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The Line graph illustrates amount of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall the highest number of jobs is reached by the manufacturing sector follwed by the retails and healthcare sectors.Agriculture has the lowest amount of jobs amoung these four sectors.

Manufacturing sector starts with 15 million jobs in 1960 than move up steadily to reach 20 million jobs in 1980. After this it drops gradually and reached 12 million jobs in 2020.Followed by Retail and healthcare which starts much lower and goes up dramatically and reached 16 million in 2020.Lastly, The agriculture sector which starts at 6 million jobs in 1960 and then fall gradually till 1980.In 1980 to 2000 it remains constant 3 million jobs .From the 2000 to 2020 it drops sightly to 2.5 million.

Overall the Healthcare sector is most improved sector in the terms of jobs.

The agriculture sector has the lowest amount of jobs and hasn't much improved.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response provides an overview with some main features and comparisons, selecting key trends such as the peak of manufacturing and the growth of healthcare and retail. However, the reporting contains some inaccuracies and under-developed points. For instance, the student states that manufacturing reached 12 million jobs in 2020, whereas the graph indicates approximately 13 million, and describes the final stage of agriculture somewhat vaguely as 2.5 million. Furthermore, some information is repetitive, as the conclusion reiterates points about the healthcare and agriculture sectors that were already mentioned earlier in the response. While the prompt instructions are partially addressed, the overall development of data points lacks precision.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response shows some organization with a basic introduction, body details, and a concluding summary, but there is a lack of clear overall progression. Paragraphing is fragmented, with several very short sentences and paragraphs that disrupt the flow of information. Cohesive devices are used minimally and sometimes inappropriately, such as abrupt transitions like 'than move up' and 'Followed by Retail'. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical sequence of data comparison smoothly. To improve, the writer needs to group related data more logically and use a wider range of cohesive links to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey the basic trends in the graph, including terms like 'sectors', 'economy', 'steadily', and 'gradually'. However, there are noticeable word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'amount of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs', 'most improved sector' instead of 'sector that experienced the greatest growth', and spelling or word form errors like 'follwed', 'retails', 'amoung', and 'sightly'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with limited success, and these lexical inaccuracies occasionally cause slight hesitation for the reader. Expanding the range of vocabulary and ensuring correct word formation would significantly enhance this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer uses a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic subject-verb patterns. Attempts at complex or compound structures are often faulty, featuring frequent grammatical errors in verb tenses, article usage, and prepositions. Examples include missing articles ('The Line graph', 'in US'), subject-verb agreement issues ('Manufacturing sector starts... than move up'), and tense inconsistencies when shifting between past and present reference points. Punctuation errors, such as missing commas in introductory phrases and run-on structures, also occur throughout the text. These frequent errors require the reader to occasionally puzzle over the meaning.

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