Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the changes in number of jobs measured in millions across four sectors of US - Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and healthcare from 1960 to 2020

Overall, employment in Retail and healthcare increased substantially throughout the period. conversely, manufacturing and Agriculture faced major fall down across the period. Healthcare sector rise from 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020 in contrast, retail initially increased from 6 million to 15 million making constant increase throught the period meeting thretholds of healthcare in 2020.

whereas, manufacturing peaked the job employment starting for 15 million in 1960 and reaching 20 million in 2 years. however agriculture and manufacturing faced constant major drop from 1980 to 2020 reaching approximately 1 million.

To conclude, healthcare and Retail employment upsurged surpassing agriculture and manufacturing sector This Trend underscores a pronounced transition from industrial to service oriented employment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response is slightly under the minimum word limit of 150 words, which impacts the overall completeness of the task. While you manage to present an overview and select some main features, the details provided are limited and contain some inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, stating that manufacturing reached 20 million 'in 2 years' misinterprets the 1980 time point, and the claim that agriculture and manufacturing reached 'approximately 1 million' in 2020 contradicts the graph where agriculture is around 2 million and manufacturing is 13 million. Furthermore, some ideas are under-developed, and the overview could be integrated more smoothly into the body of the text. To reach a higher band, ensure all data is accurately read from the visual and described with sufficient extension and precision while meeting the word count requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your essay demonstrates a clear overall progression and is divided into logical paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. You make use of cohesive devices to link your ideas, such as 'Overall', 'conversely', and 'To conclude'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical, as seen with abrupt transitions like 'whereas, manufacturing peaked' starting a sentence awkwardly, and minor punctuation or capitalization issues at the start of sentences (e.g., 'conversely', 'retail'). Paragraphing is present and generally appropriate, but to achieve a higher band, cohesive devices need to be used more flexibly and accurately without mechanical transitions, ensuring smoother logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'upsurged', 'transition', and 'service oriented employment'. However, there are notable word choice, word form, and spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'fall down' instead of 'decline' or 'drop', 'rise' instead of 'rose', 'throught' instead of 'through', 'thretholds' instead of 'levels' or 'figures', and 'starting for' instead of 'starting from'. These lexical inaccuracies and spelling slips do not severely impede communication, but they prevent you from achieving a higher band. To improve, focus on precise word choices, correct word forms, and careful proofreading to eliminate spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, using comparative and contrastive elements. However, there are frequent grammatical errors in tense consistency, article use, and punctuation that place this response at the lower band level. Examples include missing articles (e.g., 'across four sectors of US', 'in healthcare sector'), tense shifts (e.g., 'Healthcare sector rise from' instead of 'rose'), and punctuation issues (e.g., missing periods at the end of the first paragraph and incorrect capitalization like 'conversely'). While these errors rarely completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, you need to exercise better control over basic grammatical forms, verb tenses, and article usage while increasing the proportion of error-free complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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