Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph shows the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the recent years in US.
well the number of jobs available in the manufacturing area in 1960 were 15 million which increased upto
20 million in 1980.with the passage of time the availability of jobs are continuously fallen and reduces to 17 million approximately in 2000 and now in 2020 fallen upto 13 million jobs.
while in the retail sector the jobs availabilty were 6 million approximately in 1960 that goes upto 10 million in 1980 and continuously rising and reached to 15 million in 2000 and in the next 5 years in 2020 it only raised upto 1 million so the total jobs were 16 million.
in the agriculture sector the availability of jobs were 6 million in 1960 that were reduced to 3 million in 1980 and remains the same for ghe next twenty years and ended up to only 2 millions in 2025
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response falls slightly short of the 150-word minimum length requirement, which impacts its overall completeness. While the student attempts to report data from the graph, the task is only partially addressed. The overview of the visual data is missing, and the information is presented in a fragmented manner without a clear summary of the main trends. Furthermore, there are noticeable factual inaccuracies and confusion in the reporting of dates and years, such as referencing the year 2025 which does not appear on the graph, and misinterpreting the timeline for the retail sector. The response fails to make meaningful comparisons across the four economic sectors, resulting in a limited and under-developed presentation of the visual information.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response shows some organization in presenting data sector by sector, but there is no clear overall progression or logical structure guiding the reader through the report. Paragraphing is extremely poor, with the entire body of writing clumped into a single, massive block of text instead of distinct paragraphs for the introduction, overview, and body details. Cohesive devices are either inadequate, repetitive, or mechanically used, relying heavily on basic sequential connectors like "in 1960", "in 1980", and "in 2000". Reference words are sometimes unclear, and the lack of proper paragraph breaks makes the text difficult to follow cohesively from one idea to the next.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student uses a limited, minimally adequate range of vocabulary for this task, relying heavily on repetitive phrases such as "number of jobs", "availability of jobs", and "million". There are noticeable lexical and spelling errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, such as writing "upto" instead of "up to", "availabilty" with a spelling error, and using informal or unpolished phrasing like "well the number of jobs". Less common vocabulary is rarely attempted, and when word choices are made, they lack precision and variety, restricting the response to a modest lexical band level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammatical range is quite limited, consisting mostly of simple and repetitive sentence structures with frequent errors. There are notable issues with subject-verb agreement and pluralisation, such as "the jobs availabilty were" and "jobs are continuously fallen and reduces". Punctuation and capitalization are poorly controlled, with sentences starting with lowercase letters and lacking proper terminal punctuation in places. Complex sentence structures are attempted, but they are often faulty and contain frequent errors in tense consistency and prepositions, which causes noticeable difficulty for the reader.
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