Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph below illustrates the average number of jobs (in millions) in different sectors including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, in the US, between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing started as the highest figure among all other jobs, but soon had a downward trend along with agriculture. On the other hand, both healthcare and retail continuously increased throughout the period.

Regarding manufacturing, it started at 15 million jobs in 1960, then peaked at 20 millions in 1980 before dramatically declining to approximately 14 million jobs in 2020. Similarly, Agriculture also experienced a downward trend, which beginned at about 6 millions in the beginning of the timeframe, then reached to about 3 million jobs and remained constant from 1980 to 2000 before slightly decreasing more to just below that number at the end of the period.

In contrary, retail surged from approximately above 5 millions in 1960 till reaching 15 millions after 20 years, then the upward trend continued slowly and reached only 16 million jobs by 2020. Healthcare's figure was the least among all others starting with only 2 million jobs but it continued to grow to meet the retail's figure at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features, trends, and comparisons of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. A clear overview is provided in the second paragraph, capturing the overall trajectories of manufacturing, agriculture, retail, and healthcare. Data is generally used accurately to support descriptions, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare meeting retail at the end. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise or lean on minor inaccuracies, such as stating manufacturing declined to 14 million when it was closer to 13 million, and minor issues with pluralisation of numbers like '20 millions'. To reach a higher band, the reporting of figures could be more consistently precise throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression throughout the text. Information is organised logically into an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs dedicated to contrasting groups of sectors. Cohesive devices are employed adequately to link ideas, such as 'On the other hand' and 'Similarly'. However, cohesion occasionally feels slightly mechanical, and referencing is occasionally clunky, as seen in 'In contrary' instead of 'In contrast'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, but transitional phrases could be varied more flexibly to fully demonstrate the higher band characteristics.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating topic-specific terms like 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. There are also successful attempts to use less common vocabulary and functional verbs of change, such as 'surged', 'peaked', and 'dramatically declining'. However, there are some word choice and word form errors that prevent a higher score, such as 'beginned' (an incorrect past tense form of a verb rather than a direct lexical issue, but affecting overall lexical control), '20 millions', and the phrase 'In contrary' instead of 'In contrast'. These errors do not impede communication, but they highlight limitations in precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writing exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over descriptive structures like relative clauses and time-marker clauses ('which beginned at about 6 millions...'). There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as tense consistency issues ('beginned'), incorrect plural noun agreements ('20 millions', '5 millions'), and missing articles or prepositions in phrases like 'reached to about 3 million jobs'. Nevertheless, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the descriptions easily. To achieve a higher score, a wider variety of error-free complex structures should be sustained more consistently.

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