Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph provides the information about the quantitie of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US among the years [redacted phone].

Overall the four periods experienced different trends in the time periods, we can see fluctuations among jobs and its types in all these years.Manufacturing jobs taking a smooth start from over 15 million in 1960s and gaining hike in 1980s by reaching to 20 millions makes it the most popular job then somehow show a decline after 1890s staying in between 14 billion.

Retail jobs following the popularity trend stays and second place after Manufacturing as taking start from 5 million and slowly growing to 10 and then 15 millions in 1980s and 2000, also keeping its pace constant till 2020 by staying in the same ratio in 2020.

Healthcare jobs comparativley took a slows start initially from round about two million in 1960 and crossing 5 million in 1980 and reached 11 million by 2000s . it means that the healthcare jobs are highly adopted as the graph shows the constant incline till 15 million by 2020.

Agriculture jobs on the otherhand cannot be witnessed competing other jobs as the graph clearly shows its decline as it started from 6 million in 1960s and instead of increasing the ratio gets decreased decade by decade as a clear decline could be seen in 1980s it reached below 5 million and stayed the same in 2000 and 2020 which makes it less popular and attractive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting data for all four sectors across the period, presenting a general overview, and making relevant comparisons. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack full clarity. While the overview attempts to summarise the main trends, it is somewhat vague and conversational, stating that 'we can see fluctuations among jobs and its types'. The data reporting contains inaccuracies and imprecise figures, such as stating that manufacturing stayed 'in between 14 billion' (clearly meaning million) and misinterpreting the end year of a trend as '1890s'. Furthermore, some comparisons lack precise data grounding. To reach a higher band, the response needs a more precise and accurate selection of data points, a clearer overview without vague generalisations, and better-developed support for the comparisons made between the economic sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure, dedicating individual body paragraphs to each of the four economic sectors. Ideas are logically sequenced following the progression of the line graph. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, with awkward transitions between sentences and ideas, such as 'Retail jobs following the popularity trend stays and second place after Manufacturing as taking start from 5 million...' Referencing and cohesive ties are at times repetitive or imprecise, leading to a mechanical flow. To achieve a higher level, the writer needs to use a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices smoothly, ensure referencing is unambiguous, and improve the logical transitions between sentences to create a more seamless progression throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, providing basic terms related to data trends such as 'decline', 'gaining hike', and 'constant incline'. However, there is a limited range of vocabulary, and noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and collocation cause some difficulty for the reader. Examples include 'quantitie' instead of quantity, 'gaining hike' instead of experiencing a surge or peak, and the severe unit error of stating '14 billion' instead of million. There are also spelling slips and awkward expressions like 'comparativley took a slows start' and 'highly adopted'. To progress to the next level, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire, employ less common vocabulary with greater precision, and eliminate basic spelling and word choice errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple clauses and participial phrases used as sentence modifiers, such as 'taking a smooth start' and 'reaching 11 million by 2000s'. Attempts at more complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to fragmented or run-on structures like 'Retail jobs following the popularity trend stays and second place after Manufacturing as taking start from 5 million and slowly growing...'. There are frequent errors in verb forms, tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions within grammatical patterns. To move higher, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of complex sentence forms with good control, reducing the frequency of grammatical errors and improving overall sentence construction.

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