Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph compares the figure of jobs in the main four segments of US economy range from the year 1960 to 2020

Overall, 2 job sectors have seen substaintial increase in employment(Healthcare and Retail), while manufacturing and agriculture have reported a decline in job availabilty. While retail jobs prove to be on consistant growth. Healthcare segment overtook potision of agricultural jobs.

The increase in job oppourtunites were seen Healthcare deparment from 1980 to 2020 having a run from 5 million to 15 million, retail jobs accompanied the similar trend from same time period having 10 million jobs to reaching a similar achievement of 15 million. Both the sector shared a spot for having the highest number of employment in recent year of 2020.

Manufacturing and agriculture reported loss of job availability, In which agriculture shown a downward trend of forfeiting around 5 million jobs in 1960 to approximately 2 milion in 2020. While manufacuting segment showed a steep in job vacancy around 20 million in1980 it was presented witha loss of 1/3 fold decrease of somewhat 14 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response successfully covers all four parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the given time frame. You present a clear overall trend identifying growth in healthcare and retail alongside declines in manufacturing and agriculture. Key data points, such as healthcare rising from 2 million to 16 million and agriculture dropping to 2 million, are accurately selected and presented to support your statements. However, there is a tendency to slightly over-generalise or provide slightly imprecise data points in places, such as describing the manufacturing drop as 'somewhat 14 million' instead of the approximate 13 million. To reach the higher band, ensure that all reported data points closely mirror the visual data without minor estimation inaccuracies and extend the analytical comparisons between sectors even further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs dedicated to the respective trends. Logical progression is established as you move from general patterns to specific sector details. However, cohesion is occasionally mechanical or faulty due to missing punctuation, run-on sentences, and abrupt transitions between clauses. For instance, sentences like 'Manufacturing and agriculture reported loss of job availability, In which agriculture shown a downward trend...' disrupt the flow of reading because of comma splices and weak referencing. To move up to a higher band, you need to employ cohesive devices more flexibly and ensure that paragraphing and sentence boundaries are managed with greater precision to guarantee smooth, seamless progression throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your lexical range is adequate for the task, allowing you to discuss economic sectors and employment figures using vocabulary such as 'employment', 'segment', and 'downward trend'. However, lexical control is limited by frequent spelling errors, such as 'substaintial', 'consistant', 'oppourtunites', 'deparment', and 'manufacuting', alongside word-choice slips like 'figure of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs'. These errors prevent you from achieving a higher score. To reach a higher level, you must use a wider and more flexible range of vocabulary with accurate spelling, better collocation, and more sophisticated stylistic choices when describing data changes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like relative clauses and time phrases. However, grammatical accuracy is limited by frequent errors in verb forms, prepositions, articles, and punctuation. Examples include 'agriculture shown a downward trend' (incorrect tense/verb form), 'in recent year of 2020' (missing article), and several run-on sentences lacking proper terminal punctuation. Attempts at complex structures are often faulty, such as 'having a run from 5 million to 15 million'. To achieve a higher band, you must increase the frequency of error-free sentences, improve your control over verb tenses, ensure accurate use of articles and prepositions, and refine your punctuation to avoid confusing sentence structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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