Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates data about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Healthcare had lowest number of jobs but it rose during the period and retail also incresed significantly till the end of period. While, Agriculture declined over the time and manufacturing went down frequently.

In 1960, There were 15 million jobs in Manufacturing sector which reached to 20 million after two decades. Then it went down continuously for next years and remained around 14 millions. In Agriculture sector there were approximately 6 million jobs were availbale but how time passed there were noticeable downfall seen continuously. It declined significantly around 3 million.

Retail sector increased every single year which were approximately 6 milliom in the year 1960 and it reached to aroung 16 million in 2020. Likewise, Healthcare sector also speedily went upward and surpassed manufacturing with aroung 16 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully covers all parts of the prompt by presenting an overview of the trends and reporting key features from the chart. You correctly identified that Healthcare started with the lowest number of jobs and rose significantly, alongside Retail, while Agriculture and Manufacturing experienced overall downward trajectories. However, certain parts of your response lack full development and contain minor inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, stating that Manufacturing 'remained around 14 millions' in 2020 overlooks the actual visual data showing it at approximately 13 million. Furthermore, some comparisons between the sectors could be extended to reach a higher level of performance. To improve further, ensure that all figures quoted are strictly checked against the visual source and that every trend is fully explained with its corresponding endpoint.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your writing demonstrates a generally coherent overall arrangement, and the response is divided into logical paragraphs separating the overview from the body details. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, and the progression within paragraphs can feel disjointed. For example, the transition 'Then it went down continuously for next years' lacks precise cohesive ties to link the timeframes smoothly. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'how time passed there were noticeable downfall seen continuously' in the third paragraph, which disrupts the flow of information. To enhance cohesion, you should employ a wider variety of transitional markers and ensure that your referencing words clearly point back to the intended subjects without causing ambiguity for the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You have demonstrated an adequate range of vocabulary for this task, attempting some less common lexical items related to data trends, such as 'significantly', 'downfall', and 'surpassed'. Nevertheless, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice inaccuracies that prevent a higher score, such as 'incresed' (increased), 'milliom' (million), and 'availbale' (available). Expressions like 'went down frequently' and 'speedily went upward' are also slightly unnatural in an academic context. To achieve a higher band, focus on refining your spelling accuracy and using more precise collocations, such as 'decreased steadily' or 'experienced a sharp upward trend', rather than relying on basic intensifiers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating your ability to construct multi-clause sentences like 'While, Agriculture declined over the time and manufacturing went down frequently.' There are, however, some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text that pull down the rating. You made several article and preposition errors, such as 'Healthcare had lowest number of jobs' (missing the article 'the') and 'jobs in Manufacturing sector' (missing 'the'). Additionally, punctuation and sentence boundaries need care, as seen in the stray comma and fragment in 'While, Agriculture declined...' To improve your grammatical score, pay closer attention to articles with superlative adjectives, correct preposition usage within data trends, and ensure complex sentences are grammatically complete.

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