Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates data regarding the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Healthcare had lowest number of jobs but over the period it rose noticeably. Retail sector also experienced substancial improvement in the number of jobs. While Manufacturing and Agriculture fields fluctuated.

In 1960, Manufacturing accounts for the highest number of jobs at 15 millions. It reached to its peak at 20 millions after two decades. But after 1980 it experienced steep declined in jobs sector at around 13 million in 2020. Similarly, Agriculture responsible for 6 million jobs in 1960 and by following twenty years it also experienced sudden drop in jobs economy at 0.3 million in 1980. After that it stayed constant till 2020 at approximately 0.2 million which was lowest amongst all category.

Retail started at 6 millions jobs in US market in 1960 and in 2000 became highest jobs providing sector with 15 million and became second largest category and reached it peak in 2020 at around 16 millions. While Agriculture started as lowest jobs in 1960 at around 2 millions it surpassed manufacturing and soar upto approximately 16 millions in 2020 similar as retail category.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task only partially, presenting some key features and data points while containing noticeable inaccuracies in the reported figures. For example, the student states that Agriculture started at around 2 millions in 1960 and soared up to approximately 16 millions in 2020, which directly contradicts the graph where agriculture actually declined from 6 million to 2 million. Similarly, the initial data for agriculture is misread as 6 million in one sentence and 2 million later. The overview outlines general trends, but the presence of incorrect data points and confusion between categories (such as attributing healthcare trends to agriculture in the final paragraph) prevents the response from fully meeting higher standard requirements. To improve, careful verification of data points against the visual source is essential.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response shows some organization with basic paragraphing and an initial overview, but lacks a clear overall progression. Cohesive devices are sometimes inaccurate or awkward, such as starting sentences with 'While Manufacturing and Agriculture fields fluctuated' as a fragment sentence, or using transitional phrases mechanically. Referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where it becomes confusing which category is being discussed. Paragraphing is attempted by separating the introduction, overview, and body details, but logical sequencing within paragraphs is disrupted by factual errors and abrupt transitions. To achieve a higher band, the writer should ensure smooth logical links between sentences and maintain clear referencing throughout the body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task, allowing the student to attempt some less common items such as 'substancial', 'fluctuated', and 'steep declined'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors, including 'substancial' instead of 'substantial', 'declined' instead of 'decline', and awkward collocations like 'jobs sector' and 'jobs economy'. These errors and occasional repetition do not completely impede communication, but they cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve lexical resource, the student should expand their range of functional vocabulary for describing trends and pay closer attention to word forms, spelling, and precise collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside a few complex attempts that are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('Manufacturing accounts' vs past tense context, 'Agriculture responsible for'), missing articles ('lowest number of jobs', 'second largest category'), and incorrect prepositions or verb forms ('It reached to its peak', 'soar upto'). Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also weak, with sentence fragments used inappropriately. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer needs to work on mastering basic tense consistency, prepositions associated with data trends, and accurate complex sentence construction.

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