Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the proportion of employment in four distinct sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare experienced escalation over the period, while manufacturing increased over a significant period before facing a decline, and agriculture also remained steady within a period.

Retail increased in the number of employment from 7 million to 10 million from 1960 to 1980, whereas manufacturing is almost double that of it which is 15 million in the beginning, and by 1980 retail experienced a significant growth reaches 20 million. However, manufacturing faced a slight decline over a period, compared to retail increased at 17 million end of the period.

Healthcare started from 3 million experienced a steady growth over a period which is almost equivalent to retail the number of people employed from the period between 1960 to 2020 reached at above 15 million, while agriculture stood at above 5 million in 1960, and remained steady over the period indicating a steadily growth by the end of period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially because there are notable inaccuracies in reading the data from the graph. For instance, the opening sentence refers to 'the proportion' instead of actual numbers ('jobs in millions'), and the student confuses the figures for manufacturing and retail in the third paragraph, stating that manufacturing reached 20 million by 1980 when that figure actually belonged to retail, while manufacturing was around 20 million in 1980. Furthermore, some data points are vague or incorrectly reported, such as claiming healthcare started at 3 million when it began near 2 million. An overview is attempted in the second paragraph, but the supporting details in the body paragraphs lack precision and contain confused data comparisons, limiting the overall effectiveness of the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has some organization, including a basic introductory sentence and an overall summary paragraph, but there is no clear overall progression. The relationship between ideas is sometimes confused by inaccurate referencing, such as 'manufacturing is almost double that of it', which creates confusion for the reader. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and repetitively, with phrases like 'over a period' appearing multiple times in close proximity. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical flow of the body paragraphs is disrupted by jumbled comparisons and imprecise data reporting, preventing the text from achieving a smoother and more logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic ideas about trends, utilizing words like 'escalation', 'decline', and 'steady growth'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and phrasing, such as 'number of employment' instead of 'number of employees' or 'level of employment', and 'indicating a steadily growth' instead of 'steady growth'. These lexical slips and awkward collocations cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect an inadequate control of less common lexical items, restricting the score to a modest level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the range remains quite limited, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are noticeable grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues and awkward clause structures, such as 'retail increased in the number of employment from 7 million to 10 million' (where retail did not start at 7 million according to the graph) and 'reaches 20 million' instead of 'reaching 20 million'. Punctuation and prepositional use within grammatical patterns also show frequent errors that can cause some difficulty for the reader.

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