Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph gives information on the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US by the year 1960 to 2020.
Overall, there are four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare respectively. Retail and healthcare followed the same trend, while manufacturing and health care declined the trend.
In 1960, the number of jobs for healthcare and agriculture were approximately three and six, however, both sectors had a rapid growth and recorded as the highest feature by the year of 2020 with the maximum number of 16. Demand for these two sectors kept increasing in the duration of every two years till the duration.
On the otherside, agriculture fell a downfall and had a less demand among these all sectors, while manufacturing was the highest feature with number of 15 in 1960 and has a slight growth by the year of 1980 securing the number of 20, whereas it was declined rapidly which leds to reach below 15.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response attempts to cover the task, but it only partially addresses the prompt and contains significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. Note that 13 words were copied directly from the prompt. While an overview is attempted, it is confused and factually incorrect, such as stating that retail and healthcare followed the same trend while manufacturing and healthcare declined, which misrepresents the visual data. Furthermore, key data points are misread or poorly reported; for example, the student claims that healthcare and agriculture started at three and six in 1960 (healthcare actually started at two) and incorrectly attributes a peak of 16 to both in 2020 while confusing agriculture with retail. The description of trends is underdeveloped, lacking precise and accurate comparisons, which places the response at this band level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text shows some overall organisation with paragraph breaks, but there is no clear overall progression or logical flow. The second paragraph fails to function as a proper overview, merely listing the categories in a repetitive manner rather than summarising main trends. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'On the otherside' to introduce a new point, and referencing is sometimes confusing. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal logical sequencing is weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of information clearly.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with basic phrasing such as 'rapid growth', 'highest feature', and 'slight growth'. There are noticeable lexical errors and inappropriate word choices that cause some difficulty and strain for the reader, such as describing sectors as 'the highest feature' or writing that agriculture 'fell a downfall and had a less demand'. Other vocabulary inaccuracies include 'leds' (used as a verb form) and confusing the trends of different sectors. Spelling is generally acceptable, but the overall lexical range and control remain basic and minimally adequate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('number of jobs for healthcare and agriculture were'), incorrect prepositional usage ('in the duration of every two years till the duration'), and tense inconsistencies. The error with the verb 'leds' further demonstrates weak control over grammatical forms. These frequent errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted grammatical repertoire.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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