Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph given above shows the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in USA since [redacted phone]. From the graph, we can drive some conclusions. The number of jobs in these particular 4 sectors has changed or more precisely fluctuated throughout the time period. The sectors that provide more number of jobs in the year 2020 are the Healthcare and Retail. These sectors provide about 16 jobs per million as per the given graph. However, if we move back to the year 1960, it seems to be quite clear that Manufacturing sector provided greater number of jobs than those two sectors. The job opportunities by Manufacturing sector peaked in year 1980 reaching 20 per million. The sector that declined throughout this time period is the Agriculture sector. Starting from approximately 6 jobs per million, the sector has then declined to about 2 jobs per million in year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response meets the task partially, and importantly, the length requirement is not met as the text falls short of the 150-word minimum (containing 139 words, excluding 11 words copied directly from the task prompt). While the student attempts to summarise the main features, such as identifying Healthcare and Retail as the sectors with the highest number of jobs in 2020 and Agriculture as the declining sector, the coverage is somewhat limited. Furthermore, there is a recurring data misinterpretation throughout the text, as the student repeatedly states figures in terms of jobs 'per million' rather than 'millions of jobs', which misrepresents the scale of the data provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The writing demonstrates some organisation, but there is no clear overall progression. The response opens with conversational filler ('From the graph, we can drive some conclusions') rather than establishing a cohesive introductory overview. Cohesive devices are used, but they tend to be basic, mechanical, or repetitive (e.g., starting multiple sentences with 'The sectors...' or 'The sector...'). Additionally, paragraphing is not utilised effectively; the entire response is clumped into a single block of text, making it harder for the reader to follow the logical grouping of ideas.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task. The student demonstrates an attempt to use appropriate terms related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', and 'declined'. However, there are noticeable lexical and collocational errors that affect precision, most notably the incorrect unit of measurement ('jobs per million' instead of 'million jobs'). There are also spelling and word-form slips, such as 'drive' instead of 'draw' conclusions, which cause some minor confusion for the reader without completely impeding communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response displays a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and straightforward subject-verb-object patterns. Attempts at complex sentences are sometimes faulty, as seen in awkward phrasing like 'The sectors that provide more number of jobs'. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly with prepositions and superlative forms (e.g., 'provide more number of jobs' instead of 'provided the greatest number of jobs', and 'throughout the time period'). These errors require some effort from the reader to interpret the intended meaning.
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