Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in millions among four sectors manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare in America from 1960 to 2020.

Manufacturing has the highest jobs in 1960 among the four sectors which is 15 miilion.Through 1980, its job ratio reaches its peak around 20 million, has the exceeding number of jobs in all the decades.After that maufacturing jobs decreases gradually untill 2020, reaches ratio probably 13 million.Secondly, retail has nearly 6 million jobs in the starting(1960) which is about half of the manufacturing, but this ratio has increased to a considerable level between [redacted phone] at 15 million jobs and untill 2020 there have seen a fractional increase in this number around 16 million.

Also, agriculture has 6 million jobs in the starting year 1960 same as retail has.Upto 1980 jobs of agriculture has decreased sustainably through 3 million approximately which remains constant untill 2000.And after that there have seen a fractional decrease in these numbers nearly drops from 3 to 2 million.Healthcare has the least producing jobs in the starting year (2 million) but there have seen a considerable increase in jobs probably around 16 million jobs through the years [redacted phone].

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task partially and presents an overview of the main trends, but some parts are under-developed or inadequately supported. While the student reports data for all four sectors over the period from 1960 to 2020, there are inaccuracies in reading the figures, such as stating that manufacturing reached around 20 million in 1980 when the gridline indicates 20 million, but some other data points lack clear comparative analysis. Key features are mentioned, such as the rise of healthcare and retail alongside the decline of agriculture and manufacturing, but the lack of a clear summary paragraph and some mechanical selection of data prevent a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response shows a coherent overall arrangement and attempts to group information by sectors, resulting in a logical flow from one industry to another. However, the organization is hampered by a lack of proper paragraphing, as the entire body of the response is crammed into dense blocks or single paragraphs without a clear introduction or dedicated overview structure. Cohesive devices are used, but referencing is sometimes faulty or mechanical, such as repetitive transitions like 'Also' and 'And after that', which creates a slightly disjointed progression of ideas rather than a seamless flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but the range is limited and contains noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form. Examples of lexical slips include 'miilion' (million), 'maufacturing' (manufacturing), 'untill' (until), and awkward phrasing like 'the least producing jobs'. The student attempts less common vocabulary such as 'considerable level', 'fractional increase', and 'decreased sustainably', but these attempts are often marred by imprecise collocations or slight misapplications, which cause some minor difficulty for the reader without completely impeding communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response displays a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic complex forms that are often faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar, subject-verb agreement, and articles throughout the text, such as 'Manufacturing has the highest jobs', 'its job ratio reaches', 'jobs of agriculture has decreased', and 'there have seen a fractional decrease'. Punctuation is also problematic, notably with missing spaces after commas (e.g., 'manufacturing,retail,agriculture'). These frequent errors require the reader to occasionally decode the intended meaning.

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