Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph below illustrates the breakdown of number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is clear that the manufacturing started with highest jobs in 1960, but by the end of 2020 it diminshed whereas, healthcare and retail Commenced with very low jobs but steadily climed to reach the peak of roughly 16 million jobs.

In the year, 1960 manufacturing started with 15 million, dominated at 20 million in 1980, but fall dramatically and reached approximately 13 million jobs. Agriculture intiated with 5 million and over the period showed decline in jobs by the end of 2020 it was roughly 3 million.

Retail began at with the number of 5.5 million jobs, reached its highest point and had 16 millions jobs by the end of 2020. Alon healthcare also started with 2 million jobs in 1960, showed a dramatic rise and became 16 million joba in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response meets the minimum requirements partially, specifically failing to reach the 150-word minimum by being 9 words short (excluding copied prompt text). You present an overview and cover the main sectors, but some data points contain minor inaccuracies, such as stating agriculture initiated with 5 million when the graph shows approximately 6 million. Ideas are somewhat limited and under-developed, lacking a fully comprehensive comparison across all years. To reach the next band, you should ensure the word count exceeds the 150-word threshold and provide more precise figures alongside extended analysis of key trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your response has some basic organisation with paragraph breaks separating different aspects of the graph, and you use basic cohesive devices like 'Overall' and 'In the year'. However, there is no clear overall progression across the body paragraphs, and referencing is sometimes clunky. For instance, the transition 'Alon healthcare also started' is awkward and disrupts the logical flow. To improve, you need to ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs, and avoid mechanical linking to create a more natural logical progression throughout your writing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You demonstrate a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'breakdown', 'diminished', and 'dramatic rise'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors, such as 'diminshed', 'climed', 'intiated', and 'Alon' instead of 'Along'. These errors, while not totally impeding communication, reveal limitations in lexical control and precision. To achieve a higher band, you should expand your vocabulary range, use less common items more accurately, and pay closer attention to spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Your response relies on a limited range of sentence structures, and your attempts at complex sentences often contain errors. There are frequent mistakes in verb forms, articles, and prepositions, such as 'manufacturing started with highest jobs', 'fall dramatically' (instead of fell), and 'began at with the number of'. Punctuation is also sometimes neglected around introductory phrases. To move up to the next band, you must increase the variety of error-free complex structures and reduce the frequency of basic grammatical errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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