Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph depicts the correlation of the number of jobs (in millions) in US in four sectors of the economy. The year [redacted phone] showed a considerable change in the economic behaviour among departments like Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare.

In the year 1960, Manufacturing jobs were 15 millions, aroused to 20 millions in 1980. Meanwhile, a drastic decrease was observed in 2020 as almost 14 millions as comapred to 17 millions jobs in 2000.

While discussion about Retail sector, a huge difference was evaluated ranging from 6 millions jobs in 1960 to 16 millions in 2020. However, the year 2000 to 2020 didn't show much of the change i.e. only 1 million.

In contrast, Agriculture firm depicted that there were 6 millions jobs in 1960 which began to fall to 3 millions until reaching 2020.

Healthcare department was lastly came under discussion but it was observed that the number of jobs increased from the year 1960 to 2020. While elaborating, approximately 3 millions jobs were seen in 1960 which was starting to rise in 1980. Although the year 2000 showed a positive reponse when the jobs in US were estimated to be 11 millions. Moreover, the year 2020 depicted a good sign in terms of jobs for the public. 16 millions jobs were available in 2020 in the respective department which briefed an improvement was made positively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by summarizing the main features of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020 and attempting some comparisons. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven and limited. For example, the description of Manufacturing contains slightly inaccurate data reporting, such as stating the jobs 'aroused' to 20 millions in 1980 and referencing 14 millions in 2020 where the graph shows roughly 13 millions. Furthermore, the overview of trends is partially obscured by mechanical data listing rather than highlighting the broader economic trajectory. To reach the next level, the response would need to present a clearer, more holistic overview of the main trends and integrate more precise data comparison throughout all sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with logical paragraphing separating the introduction from the body paragraphs dedicated to each sector. However, the progression between sentences and within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by repetitive or awkward transitional phrases, such as 'While discussion about Retail sector' and 'Healthcare department was lastly came under discussion'. Cohesive devices are occasionally used in a mechanical or inaccurate manner, and referencing lacks fluidity. To achieve a higher band, the writer must ensure smoother transitions between ideas and use a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally to maintain a clear sense of logical progression throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate basic trends and figures. However, there are noticeable lexical errors in word choice, form, and collocation, such as 'correlation of the number' instead of 'trend in the number', 'Agriculture firm' instead of 'Agriculture sector', and 'positive reponse' instead of 'positive trend'. Words like 'aroused' are misused in place of 'rose' or 'increased'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they restrict the lexical score. To progress, the student should expand their range of less common vocabulary and pay closer attention to precise collocations and word forms appropriate for academic reporting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing displays a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple constructions alongside some attempts at complex forms that often contain grammatical errors. Examples include awkward phrasing and structural flaws such as 'was almost 14 millions as comapred to' and 'Healthcare department was lastly came under discussion'. There are frequent errors in verb forms, prepositions, and comparative structures that cause occasional difficulty for the reader. To improve in this area, the writer needs to incorporate a wider variety of error-free complex sentences, ensuring better control over verb tenses, passive/active voice usage, and grammatical agreements.

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