Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart as shown in the picture shows an overall trend of jobs among the four sectors manufacturing, healthcare, retal and agriculture over a passage of time from 1960 to 2020.

As we can see that in the begining manufacturing jobs were the highest among the 4 sectors analyzed and continued to increase up until 1980 but healthcare on the other hand started slow but exponentially increased over the passage of time and showed a rapid increase in jobs from 1980s onward. Whereas the jobs in retail industry also showed a positive peak and increased in number quickly from 1980s up until 2020 while the agriculture sector recorded reasonably less jobs from 1960 till 2020.

Conclusively we can see that the highest boom in job market overall was observed in healthcare whereas manufacturing industry started strong but showed decrease jobs but still better than the agricultural sector which started slow and went even down in number of jobs over the years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by providing an overview of the four sectors and making relevant comparisons across the period from 1960 to 2020. Key features, such as the initial dominance of manufacturing and the significant growth in healthcare and retail, are correctly identified and supported with data points like '1980s onward'. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack precision. For example, while the overall trends are mentioned, the specific starting and ending values for sectors like retail and agriculture are described rather generally ('recorded reasonably less jobs'), and the phrasing regarding manufacturing's decline ('decreased jobs') lacks specific numerical grounding. To move to a higher band, the response needs to extend its reporting of key trends with more precise comparisons and fully developed descriptions of the data without relying on vague summaries.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The text presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from the introduction to body details and a concluding summary. Information about the four sectors is generally grouped by trends, and cohesive devices are employed to link ideas, such as 'whereas', 'on the other hand', and 'conclusively we can see'. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally mechanical or slightly repetitive, as seen in the continuous linking of clauses with coordinating conjunctions rather than varied subordination or punctuation. Paragraphing is attempted, but the text is condensed into a single main body paragraph following the introduction, which limits the structural clarity of the response. To achieve a higher band, the writer should improve paragraph structuring by separating distinct trends into distinct paragraphs and employing a wider, more flexible range of cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common terms related to economic sectors and trends, such as 'exponentially increased', 'positive peak', and 'boom'. However, there are notable lexical shortcomings, including a spelling error ('retal' instead of retail), awkward word forms ('decreased jobs' instead of a decrease in jobs), and minor inaccuracies in collocation or word choice. These errors do not impede communication, but they reflect a limited precision typical of this level. To reach a higher band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, eliminate spelling mistakes, and use less common lexical items with greater accuracy and awareness of natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like 'As we can see that in the begining manufacturing jobs were...' and 'whereas the jobs in retail industry also showed...'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing commas in introductory clauses, minor punctuation omissions at the ends of sentences or clauses, and slight prepositional awkwardness (e.g., 'jobs among the four sectors' or 'went even down'). Despite these errors, they rarely impede communication, and the meaning remains clear. To progress to a higher band, the writer needs to incorporate a wider variety of error-free complex sentence structures and demonstrate better control over punctuation and grammatical agreements.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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