Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the economy of US in four sectors such as manufacturing,retail,agriculture,and healthcare between 1960 and 2020
Overall,it clear that the three sectors shows an upward trend and one of the is agriculture shows an decline starting from 1980
As we can see manufacturing sectors was the highest number of occupations in 1960 with 15 millions and its slightly rose in 1980 with 20 millions after that it decreases over the period after that the lowest occupation was healthcare in 1960 was 3 millions peoples are engaged in that occupation where as it was geadually increases in 1980 with 5 millions and in 2000 was 11 millions peoples are involved in this occupation and again rose in 2020 with 16 millions
Where as retail in 1960 was 6 millions peoples are engaged in that occupations further it increases in 1980 with 10 millions and again it increases in 2000 with 15 millions its slightly constant from periods 2000 to 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response attempts to cover all parts of the task by mentioning the four sectors and their general trends between 1960 and 2020. However, the overview is limited, simply stating that three sectors show an upward trend and one shows a decline without adequately capturing the broader picture. Furthermore, some of the data reported contains inaccuracies or awkward phrasing, such as misstating the starting figures for healthcare or misinterpreting the final data points. Ideas are present and relevant, but they lack full development and precise reporting of the visual data, placing the task response at this level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates some organization with a basic division into paragraphs, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or repetitive, with run-on sentences and excessive use of 'and' or 'where as' to connect clauses. For instance, the transition between the manufacturing and healthcare trends lacks logical signposting, resulting in a dense block of text that is difficult to follow. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the mechanical flow prevents the response from achieving a higher level of cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. The student attempts some less common topic-related vocabulary such as 'occupations' and 'engaged', but these are often used with inappropriate collocations or word forms. There are noticeable errors in word choice, such as using 'millions peoples' instead of 'million people' or 'millions', and spelling or word-formation issues like 'geadually' instead of 'gradually'. These lexical inaccuracies cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted range of vocabulary appropriate for academic writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writing relies on a very limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to run-on sentences lacking proper punctuation. There are frequent errors in verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'economy of US' missing the article, and clauses joined incorrectly without periods or conjunctions. Punctuation is largely absent throughout the text, creating long strings of clauses that obscure the meaning and require the reader to work harder to parse the sentences.
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