Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph compares number of jobs in four sectors the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall the four number of jobs sectors of the economy diffrent trends in the time period.While the job sectors in Manufacturing, Retail and Healthcare rose with fluctutions , the job sectors in Agriculture fell over time.
As the graph shows, Agriculture job sectors figure started at 5 million jobs in 1960 followed by a small increase to around 4 million jobs in 1980.Then it decline steadily until if fell to just over 2 million jobs in 2020.Regarding Manufacturing jobs , in 1960 they shipped approximately 15 million jobs sectors of the economy . This figure fell to about 20 million in 1980. But the economy in the US considerable growth to 16 million jobs in 2000.Afterward the figure pluged to below 14 million in 2020.The job sectors of the economy increase in the four periods.In 1960 fell to 5 million jobd sectors .Then in 1980 it increase 10million jobs sectors.By contrast in 2000 it has grew up 15 million ,then at the end high record job sectors in 2020 million of 15.
By contrast Healthcare is the one of the most growing up jobs sectors of the economy.In 1960 Healthcare sectors economy fell to 2 million .Then in 1980 increase to 5million.Wherase 11million in
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to address the task by reporting information about the four sectors, but the data is frequently inaccurate and confused. For example, the student writes that Manufacturing fell to about 20 million in 1980 (when it actually rose to 20 million) and later notes that the figure 'pluged to below 14 million'. The overview is underdeveloped, stating vaguely that the sectors had 'diffrent trends', and the writing breaks off abruptly at the end of the fourth paragraph. The selection of features is incomplete, and the inaccuracies in reporting data prevent a clearer overview or fully developed response.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The organisation of the response shows severe limitations. While there are attempts to break the text into paragraphs, the paragraphing is disrupted, and the final paragraph cuts off mid-sentence. Progression is difficult to follow because referencing is unclear and cohesive devices are used clumsily or repetitively, such as the repeated use of '[b]y contrast' or 'Then'. Overall, information and ideas are not arranged in a coherently progressing manner, and the mechanical repetition of basic connectors prevents smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and frequently inappropriate, with numerous word-choice and word-form errors that strain comprehension. Examples include 'diffrent', 'fluctutions', 'decline' instead of 'declined', and misuse of terms like 'pluged' and 'grew up'. There are also frequent spelling mistakes, and the student relies heavily on lifting phrases directly from the prompt. The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with very few attempts at less common lexical items used accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
Grammatical control is weak, with a very limited range of sentence structures and frequent errors. There are persistent mistakes with verb tenses and forms, such as 'it decline steadily', 'it has grew up', and missing auxiliary verbs. Article usage is also problematic, as seen in 'compares number of jobs' and 'in the economy'. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are flawed, and the frequent errors in simple and attempted complex structures cause noticeable difficulty for the reader throughout the response.
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