Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph displays information about how many jobs in four sectors of the economy in the USA from 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the jobs in healthcare dropped significantly,whereas the employment in both retail and agriculture increase gradually throughout the period of time given.Although the number of jobs in manufacturing rose initally then saw considerable decline.
The figure of jobs avaliable in retail sector started from 5 million in 1960 grew substanially to 15 million in 2000 and then rose steadily nearly 16 million by 2020.While jobs avaliable in agriculture sector started from roughly 2.5 million in 1960 surged dramatically and reached around 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response falls well short of the minimum length requirement, containing only 98 words, with 9 words copied directly from the prompt, which severely restricts task fulfillment. While the student attempts to summarise the main features of the line graph, the overview contains significant factual errors and contradictions when compared to the visual data. For instance, the student states that healthcare jobs dropped significantly, whereas the graph clearly shows healthcare rising from 2 million to 16 million. Furthermore, the description of agriculture contains major data confusion, stating it reached 16 million in 2020 when it actually declined to 2 million. Due to the incomplete length, lack of a fully developed overview, and severe data misinterpretations, the response only achieves a partial and inaccurate response to the task.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response shows some basic organisation by attempting an introduction, an overview, and body details, but the lack of a proper paragraph structure limits overall progression. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as starting sentences with dangling subordinators like 'Although the number of jobs in manufacturing rose initally then saw considerable decline.' Referencing and transitions between sentences are mechanical, creating a disjointed reading experience. While the student attempts to compare sectors, the weak cohesive links and lack of clear logical sequencing prevent the text from flowing smoothly or maintaining a clear organizational structure throughout.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, featuring attempts at less common items such as 'substanially', 'surged', and 'gradually'. However, there are noticeable spelling errors, including 'initally', 'avaliable', and 'substanially', alongside inaccurate word choices and data descriptions. The confusion between economic sectors and their corresponding trends indicates limitations in lexical precision. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey a basic topic, the frequent errors in word form and spelling occasionally impede communication and restrict the range to a basic level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying primarily on simple sentences with frequent structural flaws in complex attempts. There are missing verbs and incomplete clause structures, such as in the opening sentence: 'The line graph displays information about how many jobs in four sectors of the economy in the USA from 1960 and 2020,' which lacks a predicate for the time clause. Frequent errors in prepositions, tense consistency, and punctuation occur throughout the text, causing difficulty for the reader and preventing the formation of reliable complex structures.
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