Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph demonstrates the significant shares of four sectors of the economy in the United States for the period of 1960 and 2020. The valuable mentions of these sectors is accounted by the number of jobs in million in contrast to the span of years between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing jobs have emerged as the dominant recipent of jobs being offer, initiated from 15 million jobs in 1960 which subsequently reached the all time high in 1980 at 20 millon, followed by a gradual decline to around 14 million in 2020. Conversely, agriculture domain jobs consistently displayed downward trends starting around at 6 million, and recorded a gradual fall to 2.5 million in 2020.

At the outset, retail and healthcare sectores have demonstrated upward trends from 1960. Retail jobs that were around 6 million in 1960, displayed substantial growth during period and accelerated to approximately 16 million jobs in 2020. Moreover, healthcare jobs started with quarter a million jobs in 1960 and surged exponentially nearly 16 million jobs opportunities in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully covers all four sectors shown in the graph and provides an overview of the main trends. The key features, such as the peak in manufacturing in 1980 and the substantial growth in retail and healthcare, are identified and reported. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or imprecise; for instance, the introduction contains awkward phrasing regarding the data ('valuable mentions of these sectors is accounted by the number of jobs in million'), and the starting point for healthcare ('quarter a million jobs') misinterprets the graph where healthcare started at approximately 2 million jobs. While the main trends are covered well enough to meet the core requirements, these inaccuracies and slightly underdeveloped overviews prevent the response from achieving a higher rating.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical structure, beginning with an introduction, followed by an overview paragraph and body paragraphs grouping the sectors. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Conversely' and 'Moreover', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical or forced, like 'At the outset' used to introduce a body paragraph. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different trends, but referencing and logical flow between sentences occasionally falter, such as the abrupt shift into the healthcare data. To reach the next level, the organisation of information needs to show smoother progression and more natural, varied cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'dominant recipent', 'subsequent', and 'surged exponentially'. However, there are several word choice, collocation, and spelling errors that affect precision, including 'recipent' instead of recipient, 'millon' instead of million, 'sectores' instead of sectors, and 'agriculture domain jobs'. Expressions like 'jobs being offer' also contain word form inaccuracies. Although these errors do not seriously impede communication, they reflect a lack of full control over less common lexical items, keeping the response at this band level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting various clauses and comparative forms. There are some grammatical errors and awkward structures present, such as 'starting around at 6 million' (unnecessary prepositional clutter), 'during period' (missing article), and subject-verb agreement slips like 'retail and healthcare sectores have demonstrated'. Punctuation is generally acceptable. However, the presence of these recurring errors in articles, prepositions, and structural patterns means that simple sentences are often more reliable than complex ones. The grammar is mostly clear and rarely impedes communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.