Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The pie chart illustrates the information about different types of works in four sectors of the wealth in the US between 1960 and 2020. The data is calibrated in jobs in millions.

Overall, it is crystal clear that in healthcare and retail sector most number of jobs in last year, whereas agriculture sector consume very less job as compared to others sectors in US.

To begin with, in 1960 15 millions job are occupied in manufacturing sector. After 20 years, it gradually increased and become at 20 millions. However, it getting declined and in 2020 it gradually decline from 1960 and only 12 millions number of jobs are left. In addition, in first year retail sector have more than 5 millions placement for people which is fastly incline and become 15 millions jobs for workers in 2000 year . In 2020, it taken top place in four sectors .

Moving to further details, healthcare sector was very less jobs and very down from all sectors in 1960 . Even so, it still growing and required more than 10 millions number of jobs in 2000. It also took same position with retail sector in 2020. Lastly, agriculture sector was provided number of jobs as same as retail sector 6 millions jobs. In 1980 it getting declined and not took upward till 2020 year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response attempts to cover all four sectors across the given period, providing an overview and selecting some main features to report. However, there are significant limitations in how the data is handled. First, the student misidentifies the visual prompt, referring to a 'pie chart' instead of a line graph. While an overview is provided, it is somewhat confusingly phrased, stating that healthcare and retail had the 'most number of jobs in last year' while agriculture consumed 'very less job'. Furthermore, some of the data reporting is inaccurate or imprecise, such as claiming that manufacturing had 12 million jobs in 2020 when the graph shows around 13 million, and stating that agriculture provided six million jobs in 1960 and remained the same as retail. To reach a higher level, the response needs to accurately identify the chart type, present a clearer and more precise overview of the main trends without data errors, and provide a more fully developed comparison of all data points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay is divided into paragraphs, showing an attempt at a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs detailing the trends. However, the progression of ideas is often disjointed, and the overall organization lacks a smooth flow. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'To begin with', 'In addition', and 'Moving to further details', which can feel mechanical rather than naturally guiding the reader. Referencing is also sometimes unclear, creating confusion between different time periods and sectors. For instance, transitioning from manufacturing to retail and agriculture lacks fluid linking phrases. To improve in this criterion, the student must work on establishing a clearer logical progression between sentences and paragraphs, using a wider and more accurate variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas seamlessly without repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, reflecting a limited range appropriate for the task. Throughout the response, there are noticeable lexical errors in word choice, word form, and collocation that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include referring to 'works' instead of 'sectors' or 'jobs', 'wealth' instead of 'economy', and awkward phrases like 'consume very less job', 'getting declined', and 'fastly incline'. Additionally, spelling and word formation issues appear, such as 'taken' instead of 'took' or 'taking'. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to expand their lexical repertoire by incorporating less common vocabulary and precise synonyms related to data trends, while ensuring that word choices and collocations are accurate and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex structures that result in grammatical errors. There are frequent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, which can cause strain for the reader. Examples of grammatical lapses include '15 millions job are occupied', 'it getting declined and in 2020 it gradually decline', 'retail sector have more than 5 millions placement', and 'healthcare sector was very less jobs'. Punctuation and article usage also show persistent inaccuracies. To reach a higher standard, the writer must demonstrate better control over tense consistency when describing past data, improve subject-verb agreement, and correctly form complex sentence structures with fewer basic grammatical errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.