Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There is grapgh in image that four section of jon in US. There are foour different sector of economy from 1960 to 2020.

There are four major year that showing in grapgh these are 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2020 while on the alternative where the number of jobs showing in millions.

There are four different sign that represent four four different categories Circle showing Manufacturing , Trianglr represnt Retail and Agriculture represent by square while a cube tells about healthcare.

In 1960 Healthcare at in between 0-5 that increase whole duration move from here then reach at 5 and in 2020 it goes on 16 to 17 million.Know let's talk about Agriculture that shows downfall, in this sector it jobs start from 6 to 7 than decrease and in 2020 came on 2. In Retail sector its trend shows increase strat from 5 in 1960 gradually increase reach at its peak where is 17 in 2020.

Now the last and impoprtant one is manufacturing sector in its 1960 era this is toppest sector and become most scussfeul in 1980 than face some losses but not too much reach on 13 to 14 in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the task by mentioning some of the key sectors and figures from the line graph, such as the trends for Healthcare, Agriculture, Retail, and Manufacturing. However, the information is only partially presented and lacks a clear overall overview. Some data points are imprecise or awkwardly described, such as stating that Healthcare 'goes on 16 to 17 million' in 2020 or that Manufacturing was the 'toppest sector' in 1960. The summary tends to focus on fragmented details rather than reporting the main features and making clear, structured comparisons across the entire period. To reach a higher level, the response needs to present a clear introductory overview of the main trends and select key comparative data points more accurately and systematically.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation in the response, with an introduction and subsequent paragraphs attempting to address different economic sectors. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, and the layout suffers from a lack of standard paragraphing. Cohesive devices are minimal, inadequate, and sometimes repetitive, relying heavily on simple connectors like 'then', 'and', and conversational framing such as 'Now let's talk about'. Referencing between sentences is occasionally unclear, making the logical relationship between the data points difficult to follow. To improve, the writer should group related data logically, use cohesive devices more accurately to link ideas, and ensure that each paragraph has a distinct focus with clear transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent lexical errors that impede communication. The student uses incorrect word choices and forms, such as 'grapgh', 'section' instead of sector, 'jon' instead of jobs, 'foour', 'Trianglr', 'represent by', 'impoprtant', 'toppest', 'scussfeul', and 'strat'. There is also a heavy reliance on describing the visual markers rather than the data itself, such as referencing 'Circle showing Manufacturing' and 'a cube tells about healthcare'. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for communicating basic ideas. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to expand their vocabulary related to data trends and graphs, use correct word forms and parts of speech, and eliminate spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent errors. There are numerous issues with verb forms, tense usage, missing articles, and subject-verb agreement, such as 'There are four major year that showing in grapgh', 'Healthcare at in between', 'its jobs start from 6 to 7 than decrease', and 'in its 1960 era this is toppest sector'. Punctuation is also weak, with run-on sentences and a lack of proper sentence boundaries. These frequent grammatical errors cause difficulty and strain for the reader. To improve, the writer must focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring correct verb tenses for past data, and improving control over articles and prepositions.

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