Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chat illustrates the US data of changes in jobs in millions, following different categories - manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the period 1960 to 2020.

To begin with, healthcare and retail sectors followed gradual growth in the period. Healthcare started with being the lowest employer with 2 million in 1960, climed 5 and 11 million in the year 1980 and 2000. In the end of the period healthcare sector was higgest category following retail.

Even retail followed the considerable growth, it started with 6 million jobs in the year 1960 with the stable growth of 10 to 16 million in the period 1980 to 2020.

In contrast, manfacturing sector showed a dramatic fluctuation from starting with 15 million to 20 million and then sudden fall at 17 million and 13 million in end of the period. Whereas, agriculture sector strated moderate with 6 million with the decline stage till the end of the period.

Hence, the retail and healthcare was the crucial sectors in the US for providing jobs in the period of 1960 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting on the four sectors across the given time span, and it includes an overview at the end. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. While the descriptions of healthcare and retail are fairly clear, the overview is somewhat simplistic, and certain trends are presented with minor generalisations. The data points cited are generally accurate, successfully identifying the starting and ending points for most sectors, such as retail increasing from 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. To achieve a higher level, the overview could be more fully integrated at the beginning of the response, and the comparisons between sectors could be drawn out more sharply throughout the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response exhibits a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical structure, moving from an introductory statement into body paragraphs dedicated to different sector trends, and concluding with a summary. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesion within and between sentences is generally present, though some devices feel slightly mechanical or are used a bit awkwardly, such as 'To begin with' followed immediately by body paragraphs without a distinct introductory overview sentence. Referencing is mostly clear, but transitional phrases could be varied and refined to establish a more seamless progression of ideas across the text. This demonstrates fully the characteristics of the lower band while showing glimpses of the organizational clarity required for the next level.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey basic trends and figures. There are several attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'gradual growth', 'dramatic fluctuation', and 'moderate', but these are occasionally accompanied by inaccuracies in word choice, form, or spelling. For instance, 'line chat' is used instead of 'line chart', 'climed' contains a spelling error, 'higgest' is a spelling slip for 'highest', and 'strated' is used instead of 'started'. Although these lexical errors are noticeable, they do not seriously impede communication. To reach a higher standard, the writer needs to exercise greater precision in spelling and word formation, and incorporate a wider range of sophisticated lexical items collocated naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as subordinate clauses and participial phrases, as seen in 'following different categories'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text, such as missing prepositions or awkward prepositional use in 'started with being the lowest' and 'in the end of the period'. Additionally, minor syntactic slips occur, such as 'Even retail followed the considerable growth', where a concessive connector like 'Although' would be more accurate. However, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the intended message without major difficulty. A stronger control over complex sentence structures and grammatical accuracy would elevate this criterion.

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