Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of manufacturing jobs increased initially before declining rose first, while employment in the healthcare and retail sectors rose considerably. In contrast, agriculture experienced an overall decline throughout the period.

In manufacturing, the number of jobs increased from 15m in 1960 to 20m in 1980, before declining sharply to13m in 2020. Meanwhile, the number of jobs in agriculture fell from 6m in 1960 to around 2m in 2020. Thus manufacturing remained a major source of employment despite its significant decline after 1980.

Turning to retail and healthcare, the figure for healthcare climbed steadily from 2m in 1960 to 11m in 2000. By 2020, it had overtaken manufacturing, reaching 16m. Similarly, retail employment went up moderately from 6m in 1960 to 15m in 2000, before reaching around 16m.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You successfully address all parts of the task by providing a clear overview and covering the main trends and data points across the four sectors. Your introduction accurately paraphrases the prompt, and the overview highlights the key shifts, such as the rise in healthcare and retail alongside the decline in agriculture. You present clear comparisons, noting how healthcare eventually overtook manufacturing by 2020. However, there is a minor contradiction in your second paragraph where you write 'increased initially before declining rose first', which reflects a slight slip in drafting. To reach a higher band, ensure that all overview statements are entirely polished without any conflicting phrasing, and extend your analysis of the data by consistently integrating precise figures across all body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

Your response demonstrates a clear logical organization and progression throughout the essay. You effectively divide your writing into an introduction, an overview, and distinct body paragraphs that group information logically—such as pairing manufacturing and agriculture, and then turning to retail and healthcare. You make good use of cohesive devices like 'Meanwhile', 'Thus', and 'Turning to' to guide the reader through the data. To move further up the scale, you could refine the transitional flow between sentences even more and ensure that referencing is completely smooth, avoiding minor mechanical phrasing errors like the awkward self-correction in the overview.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating topic-specific terms such as 'sector', 'employment', 'manufacturing', and 'agriculture'. You attempt less common vocabulary and lexical chunks, such as 'climbed steadily', 'declining sharply', and 'major source of employment'. However, there are a few minor lexical slips and infelicities, such as the redundant phrasing 'declining rose first' in the second paragraph, and a missing space in 'to13m'. To achieve a higher score, you should aim for greater precision in word choice and collocations, while eliminating minor typographical errors to ensure seamless communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You display a satisfactory mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as 'before declining sharply to 13m in 2020' and 'despite its significant decline after 1980'. There are several error-free sentences, and your control of verb tenses for past data is generally sound. However, a few minor mechanical and punctuation issues persist, notably the missing space before '13m' and an extra space before 'manufacturing' in the final paragraph. To reach the next band level, you need to demonstrate a wider variety of complex structures with consistently higher grammatical accuracy and flawless punctuation throughout the entire text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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