Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The bar graph illustrate the number of jobs in four sectors of economy such as healthcare, agriculture, retail and manufacturing in the united states in four years 1960,1980, 2000 and 2020. Jobs are calculated in millions.

Overall, healthcare and retail's sector jobs are increasing continuously from 1960 to 2020. On the other hand, manufacturing and agriculture lines are being fluctuated, as at some points, there is sudden rise and fall.

At first, healthcare's sector number of jobs are increasing with the years as it starts with almost 3 million of people in the year 1960 and ends with 15 million in the year 2020. Also, sector of retail has also increased its members. Its numbers started from 5 million and ends with almost 15 million.

In contrast, manufacturing and agriculture lines are showing some fluctuations. There lines are not smooth. Manufacturing industry reduced its members from 15 miilion to almost 12 million. In addition, agriculture also reduced its number of members from 6 to 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making comparisons across the four sectors, which places it at this level. An overview is provided, noting the upward trends in healthcare and retail alongside the fluctuations in manufacturing and agriculture. However, some parts of the response are under-developed or contain inaccuracies regarding the visual data. For instance, the student refers to a bar graph rather than a line graph, and some data points are slightly imprecise, such as stating healthcare started with almost 3 million in 1960 when the chart indicates roughly 2 million. Furthermore, the description of manufacturing and agriculture as having 'sudden rise and fall' is an over-generalisation, as manufacturing actually peaked in 1980 before declining steadily. To move to a higher band, the student should ensure greater precision when reporting data figures and provide a more thorough analysis of the specific trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at logical organisation, satisfying the criteria for this band and showing elements of the next. The text is divided into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, followed by an overall summary, and then separating the growing sectors from the declining ones. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall', 'On the other hand', 'At first', and 'In contrast', which helps guide the reader through the comparisons. However, cohesion is sometimes a bit mechanical or repetitive in structure, and referencing is not always entirely clear, such as the pronoun use in 'There lines are not smooth' where 'There' is incorrectly used instead of 'Their'. Progression is generally maintained throughout, but smoother transitions and more varied cohesive links would elevate the organisational quality of the response.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating topic-specific terms such as 'sector', 'economy', 'healthcare', 'agriculture', 'retail', and 'manufacturing'. However, lexical control is limited, placing the response firmly at this band. There are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that reflect a lack of precision, such as spelling 'miilion' instead of 'million' and using awkward phrasing like 'healthcare's sector number of jobs' or 'reduced its members' when referring to jobs rather than employees. Less common vocabulary is attempted with some inaccuracy, and occasional awkward collocations appear throughout the text. To achieve a higher score, the student needs to expand their range of vocabulary for describing trends and eliminate spelling and word-form errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating a reasonable attempt at structure. Examples of complex sentences include 'On the other hand, manufacturing and agriculture lines are being fluctuated, as at some points, there is sudden rise and fall.' However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation that prevent a higher score. There are issues with verb tense and voice, such as 'lines are being fluctuated' instead of 'fluctuate', and subject-verb agreement errors like 'healthcare's sector number of jobs are increasing'. Additionally, article usage is occasionally missing or incorrect, and homophone confusion occurs with 'There lines' instead of 'Their'. These errors rarely impede communication, but they persist throughout the text, reflecting the characteristics of this band level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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