Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the graph different number of jobs in the United States are mentioned primarily in four sectors which include manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and health.

In year 1980, there were a lot of manufacturing jobs and it was the time when these jobs had the highest number than jobs in any other sector which was 20 million. After 1980 the manufacturing departments stoped creating jobs in the same way and with every passing year the number of these jobs continued to decrease and in 2920 there were only 12 to 13 million jobs created in this sector. Which means the manufacturing department which was once the biggest department is not flourishing anymore.

Retail and healthcare departments continued to provide jobs and with the passage of time they are providing more and more jobs. The success journey of retail and agriculture sectors started from 6 and 2.3 million respectively in 1960 and by the end of 2020 there were around 16 million jobs in both departments.

The agriculture field has faced a downfall since 1960. starting from 6 million jobs in 1960 it end up providing 2.5 million jobs in 2020.

The graph shows the increased number of jobs in health and retail departments. It means in the US these both sectors has improved themselves with the passage of time and providing the citizens with best facilities and healthcare. I really adore how the healthcare improved as compared to any other sector. The downfall of agriculture department can relate to increasing population in the US which is leading to urbanization leaving less agriculture land behind.

The downfall of manufacturing sector can be rellated to introduction of new technology and replacement of human labor with robotics.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially. While you attempt to report some of the main features, such as the peak of manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and the general growth of retail and healthcare, the selection of data is somewhat disjointed and contains inaccuracies, such as stating that there were 16 million jobs in both departments for agriculture and retail in 2020, which is incorrect for agriculture as it dropped to around 2 million. Furthermore, you introduce personal speculation and external explanations in the final paragraphs, such as discussing urbanization and robotics, rather than strictly summarising the visual data provided. To achieve a higher band, you need to present a clearer overview of the main trends without drifting into unsupported assumptions, and ensure all reported figures closely match the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation in the response, but it lacks a clear overall progression. Although you use paragraph breaks to separate different sectors, the logical flow between paragraphs is weak, and the grouping of ideas is somewhat haphazard. For instance, agriculture is discussed in a separate short paragraph, revisited later, and then mixed with outside commentary. Cohesive devices are used rather repetitively or inaccurately, such as starting multiple sentences with 'In year 1980' or 'The downfall of', leading to mechanical cohesion. To improve, you should group related data more logically—such as contrasting growing sectors against declining ones—and use a wider variety of cohesive markers to connect your ideas smoothly and guide the reader effectively through the data.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is limited but minimally adequate to convey the basic topic. You successfully use common economic terms like 'sectors', 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as referring to 'departments' instead of sectors, writing '2920' instead of 2020, and using 'success journey' which is unnatural in an academic report. Spelling and word formation errors also appear, including 'stoped' and 'rellated'. To reach a higher band, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary with greater precision, incorporate less common lexical items appropriately, and ensure that your word choices are suited to an objective, formal academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You demonstrate a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic coordination. When you attempt more complex structures, they are often faulty, such as in the sentence 'In year 1980, there were a lot of manufacturing jobs and it was the time when these jobs had the highest number than jobs in any other sector which was 20 million.' There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles ('In year 1980', 'In graph'), subject-verb agreement issues like 'these both sectors has improved', and awkward prepositional use. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, you should focus on mastering complex sentence formations and reducing basic grammatical errors by carefully proofreading your verb tenses and plural forms.

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