Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph depicts about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in healthcare and retail increased through the whole time period and in agriculture department, the number of jobs decresed. the manufacturing feild had huge amount of in past but with the passage of time it goes dwonward.
In 1960, the number of jobs in heathcare sector was below 5 millions but in 2020 the number of jobs reached above the 15 millions. the retail department of US had more then 5million jobs in 1960 and in 2000 it reached to 15millions.
In the manufacting industry of US had boom with 20 millions jobs in 1980 but after that the dwonfall had strated and 2020 the number of jobs were below the 15millions. the agricultural area of the country had never created maximum number of jobs throughout the time period of 1960 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response partially addresses the task by reporting several main features of the graph, such as the overall upward trends in healthcare and retail and the peak in manufacturing in 1980. However, the overview is rather basic, and some data points lack precision, such as stating that manufacturing jobs in 2020 were below 15 million when they stood at roughly 13 million, which is technically correct but underdeveloped in comparison to a higher-band response. Furthermore, the response falls short of the required 150-word minimum, containing only 141 words excluding copied prompt text. To reach a higher level, the writer should ensure the word count is fully met, provide a more robust and comprehensive overview, and extend the comparisons between the sectors more thoroughly.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates some organisation with a discernible introduction and body paragraphs, but it lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas feels somewhat disjointed, jumping between sectors without a smooth narrative flow. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes repetitive or inaccurate, such as starting multiple sentences with simple chronological markers without varying the connective structures. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the phrasing "in 2020 the number of jobs were below the 15millions", which connects awkwardly to the surrounding text. To improve, the writer needs to group related data more logically—perhaps contrasting rising and falling sectors—and employ a wider and more accurate range of cohesive devices to guide the reader seamlessly through the data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. The student attempts some less common topic-specific vocabulary such as "healthcare sector", "manufacturing industry", and "agricultural area", but these are undermined by frequent lexical errors, word-form issues, and misspellings like "decresed" instead of decreased, "feild" instead of field, "dwonward" instead of downward, "heathcare" instead of healthcare, "manufacting" instead of manufacturing, and "dwonfall" instead of downfall. Additionally, word choices like "boom with 20 millions jobs" lack natural collocation and precision. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, improve spelling accuracy, and use precise collocations appropriate for reporting statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic past-tense constructions. Attempts at more complex sentences are frequently faulty, marred by missing articles, prepositions, and punctuation errors. For example, the opening sentence contains an unnecessary preposition ("The graph depicts about the number of jobs"), and there are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as "in agriculture department, the number of jobs decresed" and "the retail department of US had more then 5million jobs". Frequent errors of this nature cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from reaching a higher standard. To improve, the writer should focus on mastering basic sentence mechanics, ensuring correct article and preposition usage, and incorporating error-free complex sentence forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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