Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the four sectors and number of jobs it held throughout the economic years 1960 to 2020 in the US.

Overall, the retail sector and health sector has increased its job market remarkably, whilst agriculture and manufacturing has been decreasing noticably. The increasing trend in retail and healthcare has been significant.

Throughout the years, retail and healthcare sectore has been growing significantly, as in 1960 retail had taken around 5 million job market but in 2020 its job market has increased remarkably, reaching just over 15 million. Likewise, health sector has risen significantly from the lowest to one of the highest, reaching the same level as the retail sector.

Both manufacturing and agriculture , have a decreasing trend in the recent years. Manufacturing had taken over most of the job market in the 60's and was rising in the 80's,but it dropped significantly during the 2000's. The agriculture sector on the other hand has a decreasing trend throughout the decades.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by providing an overview and selecting the main trends and comparisons across the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The opening correctly identifies the general subject matter, and the overview captures the principal shifts, such as the rise in retail and healthcare alongside the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the development of ideas is slightly uneven. While the growth of retail and healthcare is discussed with some specific data points from the graph, some descriptions lack precision, such as stating that retail 'had taken around 5 million job market' in 1960. To reach a higher band, the response would need to consistently integrate and compare data across all categories with greater precision and full development of all key features.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response exhibits a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure separating the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs focusing on rising and falling trends. Information and ideas are generally presented in a logical sequence. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or repetitive, such as the repeated use of 'significantly' and 'remarkably' across adjacent sentences, which detracts from natural flow. Additionally, referencing is occasionally imprecise, as seen in pronoun use and transitional phrases. To achieve a higher level of cohesion, the writer should employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices and ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs without relying on repetitive vocabulary.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic trends and sector names. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'remarkably', 'noticably', and 'fluctuating' (implied by trends), but there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word form. For example, expressions like 'taken around 5 million job market' and spelling errors such as 'noticably' and 'sectore' indicate limitations in lexical control. Some terms are repeated frequently rather than varied. To move to a higher band, the writer needs to expand their range of vocabulary, demonstrate better control of word forms and collocations, and eliminate spelling mistakes to ensure greater precision and style.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an ability to construct multi-clause sentences such as 'Overall, the retail sector and health sector has increased its job market remarkably, whilst agriculture and manufacturing has been decreasing noticably.' There are, however, several grammatical errors throughout the text. Subject-verb agreement issues are prominent, as seen in 'sector... has' versus plural nouns, and missing articles or preposition errors occasionally surface. Punctuation errors also appear, such as the spacing before commas in 'agriculture , have'. These errors rarely impede communication, but they persist regularly. A higher band would require a wider variety of error-free complex structures and tighter control over agreement and punctuation.

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