Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The rendered line graph illustrate the information about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy is the us from 1960 to 2020.
overall, it can be really aparent that manufacturing deplicts the highest jobs in the given time period. whereas inverse could be seen in the agriculture.
To begin with, in 1960 a significant increase in manufacturing jobs but after few years they continously decrease.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, containing only 61 words in total. Furthermore, the task has been addressed only minimally and partially. The writer attempts an introduction and an overall statement, but the body paragraph is severely cut short after mentioning only a single trend for manufacturing. There is no mention of retail, healthcare, or agriculture, and no meaningful data comparisons are made. Because the response stops abruptly and omits the vast majority of the required information from the visual data, it sits firmly at the lowest descriptor levels.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic attempt to structure the response using conventional signposts such as 'overall' and 'To begin with'. However, because the text is exceptionally brief and breaks off mid-sentence, there is no clear overall progression or logical development of ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, but the extreme brevity prevents any effective organizational structure from being established. Cohesive devices are minimal and mechanical, reflecting the heavily truncated nature of the writing.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, showing a limited range that is minimally adequate for the task. There are several noticeable errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'aparent' instead of apparent, 'deplicts' instead of depicts, and incorrect capitalization in 'us' instead of US. While some vocabulary related to the task is attempted, the limited output and vocabulary slips restrict the score, though communication of the few points attempted is not entirely obscured.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting of simple structures and incomplete thoughts. There are frequent errors in basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'The rendered line graph illustrate' where the verb does not agree with the singular subject, and 'in the us' lacking capitalization and an article. The final sentence 'in 1960 a significant increase in manufacturing jobs but after few years they continously decrease' lacks a main verb in the first clause and contains tense and spelling errors, causing considerable difficulty for the reader.
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