Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrate over a period of 1960 and 2020 . Overall , It is clear that manufacturing significantly high demand . Additionaliy , In Agriculture number of jobs less over a periosd . At the beginning of period , Retail and Agriculture were around 6 millions of population get job in 1960 . While ,15 millions of pepole get job in manufacturing . Similarly , retail and health care gradully rose over a time and it remain similar in end of the 2020 at around 15 millions in the US . Manufacturing were grow in 1960 to 1980 after that it fall dramatically end of the 2020 . In 1960 health care only 2 million people got job . while, there were steadily grow in number of economy peak at around 15 millons in 2020 in the US .In later year agriculture continued to fall and reaching at 3 millions of economy in the US .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the main features of the task by presenting data for all four sectors across the timeline, fulfilling the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is limited and uneven. While some key trends are noted, such as the initial growth and subsequent decline of manufacturing and the steady rise in healthcare, other details are under-developed or imprecise. The overview is weak, consisting of a fragmented sentence that attempts to highlight overall trends but lacks clarity. Furthermore, some data points are inaccurate or poorly communicated, such as misstating the endpoint for healthcare and retail, which prevents the response from reaching a higher level of performance. To improve, the writer should ensure all major trends are fully supported by accurate data and present a clear, well-formed summary paragraph outlining the main developments.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text demonstrates a basic attempt to organise information, but there is no clear overall progression or logical structure. The response lacks proper paragraphing, with ideas cramped together and arbitrary line breaks that disrupt the flow. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and repetitive manner, such as 'At the beginning of period,' 'While,' and 'Similarly,' many of which are grammatically misused or fail to establish logical links between sentences. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which sectors or timeframes are being discussed. To progress, the writer must group related data into distinct, logical paragraphs and employ a wider, more accurate range of cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly and guide the reader effectively through the data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, reflecting a limited range that is only minimally adequate for the task. Words such as 'get job,' 'grow,' and 'fall' are overused because the writer lacks the lexical flexibility to paraphrase effectively. There are noticeable lexical errors throughout the text, including word form and collocation issues like 'health care gradully rose' and 'number of economy peak.' While these errors do not completely block communication, they cause strain for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary, including less common synonyms and precise descriptors for data trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'plummeted,' or 'surpassed,' while paying closer attention to correct word formation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The structural range is very limited, relying heavily on simple sentences and awkward attempts at complex structures that are frequently faulty. The text contains frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('at beginning of period'), incorrect verb tenses and forms ('The line graph illustrate,' 'Manufacturing were grow'), and preposition errors. Punctuation is also problematic, with erratic spacing and misuse of commas separating parts of sentences incorrectly. These persistent errors cause frequent difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer must focus on foundational grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement, accurate tense usage for describing past and present data, and the formation of complex sentences without grammatical interference.
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