Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The diagram depicts comparsion between jobs in various sectors of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.The jobs are in million figures.The graph has four sectors which includes manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare. For comparison there are four years which includes 1960,1980,2000 and 2020.In 1960 manufacturing sector has 15 million jobs while the retail sector has somewhere above 5 millions jobs. Agriculture sector has similar figure like the retail sector which in above 5 million job and the healthcare industry has less then 5 million jobs. In 1980 manufacturing sector has increment as it has 20 million jobs and retail sector also has some rise in figure as it reaches 10 million jobs. Agriculture job faced some decline in jobs making it less then 5 million jobs and heathcare jobs rised upto 5 million jobs.
In 2020 manufacturing had between 10 to 15 million jobs. Retail sector has significant growth and it has more then 15 million jobs in 2020.Agriculture sectore has less then 5 million job and heathcare industry has similar number like retail which is above 15 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response covers the four sectors across the specified years, but the coverage is partial and lacks a clear overall overview of the main trends. The student attempts to report data for 1960, 1980, and 2020, but completely omits the year 2000, which is a major omission. Furthermore, the reporting of figures is frequently vague, using phrases like 'somewhere above 5 millions jobs' and 'between 10 to 15 million jobs' rather than precise or well-selected approximations from the chart. Some ideas are under-developed, and the lack of a concluding summary or overview paragraph limits the overall effectiveness of the task response.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
There is some basic organisation, with the text broken into three paragraphs, including an introduction and body sections. However, there is no clear overall progression or dedicated overview paragraph. Cohesive devices are minimal and repetitive, relying heavily on simple time markers like 'In 1960' and 'In 1980'. Paragraphing is also somewhat faulty, as the grouping of information lacks a logical flow between sectors and years. Referencing and progression between sentences can be mechanical, making the overall structure feel disjointed and hindering smooth readability.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with frequent reliance on basic terms like 'jobs', 'sector', and 'figure'. There are noticeable lexical errors and inappropriate word formations, such as 'comparsion' (comparison), 'heathcare' (healthcare), and 'rised' (rose). Collocations are basic, and attempts at less common vocabulary are either inaccurate or missing. While the reader can generally understand the intent, the restricted range and persistent word-choice errors constrain the vocabulary score to a lower level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with occasional basic attempts at complex forms. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies (e.g., mixing past data descriptions with present tenses like 'has increment' instead of 'showed an increment'), missing articles (e.g., 'in million figures', 'Agriculture sector'), and subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'manufacturing sector has'). Punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after periods, also recur. These frequent errors cause some difficulty and distraction for the reader.
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