Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This graph is showing the number of jobs in deffrent sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is clear that the sector how gives the biggest number of jobs is manufacturing. And the sector how gives the smallest number of jobes is Agriculture.

The numbers of jobs in manufacturing increased until reaching the peak in 1980 (20 million jobs), and decreased sharply to 13 million jobs in 2020.

while, the number of jobs in agriculture decreased to reach 2.5 million jobs in 1980 and stayed stable until 2020.

For the sectors of retail and healthcare they was around 6million and 2million respectively and increased sharply to 16 million jobes in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task only partially, and the length requirement is not met as the essay is under the minimum word count. While the student attempts to report some data from the graph, there are inaccurate generalisations regarding the overall trends. For instance, the claim that manufacturing provides the highest number of jobs overall is incorrect for the entire period, as retail and healthcare reach higher levels by 2020. Furthermore, the overview contains factual inaccuracies, and key comparisons between the four sectors are underdeveloped. To improve, the writer must ensure the word count requirement is fulfilled, present an accurate overview of the main trends without misinterpreting the data, and select and report key features more thoroughly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation evident in the structure, but progression lacks clarity overall. Paragraphing is fragmented, with single-sentence paragraphs used instead of a cohesive introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes inaccurate, such as using 'while' incorrectly to introduce a new sentence fragment about agriculture. Referencing and linking between sentences could be much smoother. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to group related information into logical paragraphs, ensure clear progression of ideas from start to finish, and employ a wider and more accurate range of cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs effectively.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task, containing several spelling and word choice errors. Spelling mistakes such as 'deffrent' and 'jobes' detract from the quality of the writing, alongside awkward phrasing like 'the sector how gives'. Word choices are basic, and attempts at less common vocabulary are either inaccurate or repetitive. To improve this criterion, the writer should expand their lexical range with appropriate vocabulary for describing trends and data, pay closer attention to word formation and spelling, and avoid repetitive phrasing when discussing economic sectors and job numbers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammar demonstrates a limited range of structures with frequent errors that can occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent errors in subject-verb agreement and relative pronouns, such as 'the sector how gives', as well as issues with verb forms and tense consistency, as seen in 'they was around 6million'. Complex sentence structures are attempted, but they are often faulty or incomplete. To progress, the writer needs to increase the variety of sentence structures, improve control over basic grammatical agreements and article usage, and reduce the frequency of grammatical errors across simple and complex sentences alike.

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