Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the value of job in four different sectors of the economy of the US between 1960 to 2020. Interestingly, in manufacturing sector experienced a downfall in 2020

The jobs in manufacturing was 15 million in 1960 which was reached at 20 million and after 2000 it experienced a down trend till 2020. Furthermore, the jobs in retail was 5 million and steadily rose till 2000 and after 2000 it was experienced 16 million in 2020

In agriculture job was 5 million in 1960 which was followed down trend in 1980 and continue the trend till 2020. Whereas the job in healthcare experienced 3 million in 1960 but in 1980 it followed the upward trend till 2020.

Overall, in all of three sector were experienced the massive job rates, where as the agriculture will followed down trend in US

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response only partially addresses the task requirements, and the length requirement is not met as the essay falls short of the minimum word count. While you attempted to summarize the main trends across the four sectors, some key information is missing, and several figures are inaccurately reported. For example, you stated that 'the jobs in retail was 5 million', whereas the graph shows it started at approximately 6 million. Furthermore, the overview paragraph is vague and contains inaccurate summaries, stating that 'all of three sector were experienced the massive job rates', which does not accurately reflect the overall trends shown in the visual data. To improve, ensure you carefully read the data points from the chart and provide a clear, accurate overview of the main trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some basic organization with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding sentence, but the essay lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of information feels disjointed. Cohesive devices are used minimally and sometimes inaccurately, such as the repetitive use of 'which was' and 'after 2000'. Additionally, referencing and linking between sentences can be mechanical or unclear, as seen in the final summary where phrases like 'all of three sector' disrupt the logical flow of ideas. To achieve a higher band, you need to use a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that your ideas are logically sequenced with clearer transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary range is limited and minimally adequate for the task. You attempt some topic-related vocabulary such as 'sectors', 'economy', 'downfall', and 'upward trend', but there are noticeable lexical errors in word choice, form, and collocation throughout the text. For instance, writing 'the value of job' instead of 'the number of jobs', and using 'down trend' instead of 'downward trend' or 'decline'. There are also awkward phrasings like 'experienced 3 million' rather than 'stood at 3 million' or 'reached 3 million'. These inaccuracies occasionally cause confusion for the reader. To improve, focus on learning standard collocation patterns for describing statistical data and ensure you use the correct word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response shows a very limited range of sentence structures, relying primarily on simple and faulty complex sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and prepositions. For example, you wrote 'in manufacturing sector experienced', which lacks a proper subject, and 'the jobs in manufacturing was', where the plural noun does not agree with the singular verb. Errors also appear in phrases like 'followed down trend' and 'continue the trend', where necessary articles and prepositions are missing. These frequent mistakes cause some difficulty and strain for the reader. To improve, work on forming error-free complex sentences and check your basic grammar rules regarding articles, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement.

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