Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illuatrates the jobs information in four sectors, Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the economy of US from 1960 to 2060.

Overall, the manufacturing sector showed the highest number of jobs in 1960 while Healthcare sectors represented the lowest percentage of jobs in 1960. Alternatively, heathcare sector showed the highest percentage in 2020 while agriculture represent the lowest percentage of jobs in 2020.

Looking at the details, the manufacturing sector showed the highest percentage around 15 million in 1960 but in 1980 it increased to 20 million and experienced approximately 12 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector showed around 7 million jobs in 1960 and than flactuated to 15 million in 2000 or increased to 16 million in 2020.

Looking on the remaining details, agriculture sector experienced 7 million jobs in 1960 while it decreased to 2.5 million in 1980 and showed 2 million in 2020. However, the healthcare sector represented 2 million jobs in1960 and than increased to 4 million in 1980, after that it rised to 10 million in 2000 or experienced 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and attempts to highlight the main trends, satisfying the basic requirements for this level. The overview correctly identifies the highest and lowest points at the start and end of the period, though it mistakenly refers to jobs as percentages in places, such as 'lowest percentage of jobs'. Some key features are under-developed or less clearly presented, such as the minor factual inaccuracies in quoting data values (e.g., stating manufacturing was 'around 15 million in 1960' when the graph indicates 15 million, but misquoting 1980 or 2020 figures slightly). To reach a higher level, the response needs to select and report the most salient comparisons more precisely, ensuring all data references strictly align with the visual source without minor slips.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear division into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs detailing the specific sectors. Logical progression is established through transitional markers like 'Looking at the details' and 'Looking on the remaining details'. However, cohesion is occasionally mechanical or faulty, as seen in repetitive sentence openings ('the manufacturing sector showed', 'the retail sector showed') and awkward conjunction usage, such as 'in 2000 or increased to 20 million' where 'and' or another contrastive link would be more appropriate. Referencing is generally clear, but paragraphing could be tighter by grouping sectors according to rising versus falling trends rather than splitting them arbitrarily.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate the general trends in the US economy. There are several spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'illuatrates' instead of illustrates, 'heathcare' instead of healthcare, 'flactuated' instead of fluctuated, and 'rised' instead of rose. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary related to data reporting, but these attempts contain inaccuracies in form and collocation. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the core information, but the frequency of spelling slips and imprecise word forms prevents the writing from achieving a higher score in lexical resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like relative clauses and time-bound introductory phrases (e.g., 'between 1960 and 2020'). There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles ('in economy of US', 'agriculture sector experienced'), incorrect prepositions ('jobs in four sectors', 'jobs in 1960' used repetitively instead of varying time markers), and minor tense inconsistencies. Fortunately, these grammatical errors rarely impede overall communication, and the sentence structure remains generally comprehensible. To improve further, the writer should focus on article precision, accurate prepositional usage, and eliminating repetitive syntactic patterns.

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