Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates information regarding job opportunities in four different sector of economy in the US during 60 years, starting from 1960.

Overall, the most striking feature of the line graph is, higher proportion of job opportunities were observed in manufacturing sector, which decline at end. In sharp contras, lowest jobs were notices in healthcare industry, however remarkable growth was seen till end of the year.

To begin with, in the initial year number of manufacturing and agriculture jobs were higher than other two. Manufacturing sector jobs accounted 15 millions, while in agriculture it was more than 5 million. After two decade, in the former sector jobs were inclined and reached at 20 millions; however, after onwards it is fall and recorded around 14 millions. On the other hand, in agriculture industry that figured dropped and leveled off for the rest of the year.

Furthermore, in retail and healthcare sector inclined trend has been observed. In the beginning around 5 millions and one millions job recorded respectively. In addition to this, in 2020 they leveled off and noticed probably 15 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to highlight key trends and comparisons, which earns partial credit towards the task. However, the development of ideas is uneven. For instance, the overview mentions that the manufacturing sector declined at the end and the healthcare industry showed remarkable growth, but the details provided later contain inaccuracies or vague phrasing, such as stating that retail and healthcare both 'leveled off and noticed probably 15 millions' in 2020 when the graph shows them at different trajectories and values. Additionally, there are minor data inaccuracies, such as describing the initial manufacturing jobs as '15 millions' rather than accurately noting the trend. To reach a higher band, the response needs to present a more accurate and fully supported overview with precise data points rather than vague estimates.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The text presents a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical structure, dividing the information into an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for different sectors. Cohesive devices are used to signal transitions, such as 'To begin with', 'After two decade', and 'Furthermore'. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, and referencing is not always clear, as seen in phrases like 'in the former sector' or confusing pronoun usage. Paragraphing is utilised appropriately, but the lack of smooth transitions between sentences holds the essay at this level. To achieve a higher band, the progression of ideas needs to be more seamless, avoiding abrupt shifts between disparate data points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'proportion', 'industry', and 'remarkable growth'. However, there are notable lexical errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation, such as writing 'different sector of economy' instead of 'sectors', 'sharp contras' instead of 'contrast', 'notices' instead of 'noticed', and 'inclined' or 'is fall' instead of appropriate trend verbs like 'increased' or 'fell'. These inaccuracies occur throughout the response, though they do not completely impede communication. To improve, the student should focus on accurate word forms, correct prepositions tied to specific vocabulary, and more precise reporting verbs.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like subordinate clauses and comparative constructions. However, grammatical errors are frequent throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('number of manufacturing and agriculture jobs were'), incorrect verb tenses ('that figured dropped'), missing or incorrect articles ('in initial year', 'in manufacturing sector'), and awkward phrasing in complex structures ('after onwards it is fall'). While these errors rarely completely obscure the meaning, they cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher score. Greater control over basic grammar and accurate sentence building is required for further progress.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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