Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph line illustration information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Overall, the number of job in four sectors of the economy is Manufacturing is first increases by 1960 20% increases in 1980 than decreases 17% in 2000 again decreases 13% in 2020. Overall, Retail is increases 1960 and this is one of the most job sector is highly demanded because retail is increases by 5% in 1980 than increases by 11% in 2000 again increases by 16% in 2020. However, agriculture in 1960 to 2020 decreases by 3% in 1980 than after decreases by 7% in 2000, again decreases by 3% in 2020 it means agriculture if fully down and not too much demanded in 1960 to 2020. On the other hand, healthcare job sector is also highly recognize of that sector and healthcare is increases 1960 to 2020 how many percentages they are increases by 5% in 1980 than after increases by 11% in 2000 again increases 16% in 2020. so, i would this all four jobs sectors is only two are most demanded is retail and healthcare.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response makes an attempt to address the prompt by reporting figures for all four sectors across the timeline, but the information is presented in a confused and confusing way. While you attempt to provide an overview at the end of the text by noting that retail and healthcare are the most demanded sectors, the overall progression lacks clarity and organisation. Many of the figures and trends reported are inaccurate or mechanically listed without proper synthesis. For instance, stating that manufacturing started at twenty percent in 1960 misinterprets the data, as the values represent millions of jobs rather than percentages. To move to a higher band, you need to present a clearer, well-formulated overview at the beginning and ensure that the key features and main trends are accurately selected and compared without confusing absolute figures with percentages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text suffers from a lack of clear logical organization and progression throughout. The response is written as a single dense block of text with no paragraph breaks to separate the introduction, overview, and body details. Cohesive devices are used repetitively and inaccurately, such as the excessive and unnatural repetition of the phrase 'overall' and 'than after' to link clauses. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which year or sector is being discussed. For example, sentences run into one another with phrases like 'again decreases 13% in 2020. Overall, Retail is increases 1960'. To improve, you should structure your response into distinct paragraphs—an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for body details—and use a wider, more natural range of cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly through the data.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary range is limited and minimally adequate for the task. You attempt to use less common vocabulary items such as 'demanded' and 'recognize', but these attempts are marred by frequent word form and word choice errors, such as writing 'most job sector is highly demanded' instead of 'most in-demand job sectors' or 'highly recognized'. There are also persistent issues with expressing data, confusing absolute numbers in millions with percentages by writing '20%' instead of '20 million'. These noticeable errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher score, you need to expand your vocabulary related to trends and data reporting—such as utilizing precise synonyms like 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'surged'—and ensure that your word choices and collocations are accurate and appropriate for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical structures used are very limited, consisting mostly of basic sentences that often become run-on clauses. When you attempt more complex sentence forms, they are frequently faulty, characterized by missing verbs, incorrect verb tenses, and severe issues with subject-verb agreement. Examples of frequent errors include 'The graph line illustration information', 'Retail is increases', and 'agriculture if fully down'. There is also an absence of proper punctuation, with sentences stringing together comma splices and conjunctions like 'so, i would this all four jobs sectors'. These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader. To progress, you need to demonstrate a greater variety of complex sentence structures with accurate control over tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation, ensuring that your sentences are grammatically sound and clear.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.